Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

If it’s not one, it’s the other April 25, 2011

After having lots of fun family time this past week, this morning was back to school time.  Take a guess how it went?  Ding ding ding!!!  Not good.  Ace was good about getting up and getting dressed by himself and all that.  So no worries there right?  (Stay tuned).  Jay on the other hand was a misery.  He (once again) was looking for something in his toy box.  What?  I have no idea.  He had no interest in getting dressed, or brushing his hair or going to school.  After fighting with him to get his uniform on and get him ready, I head to the front door.  He knows the routine and is usually good with it.  I announce that it’s time to go, I make sure he has 2 toys, one in each hand, cause God forbid there’s an empty hand.  I walk to the front door with Ace in tow and Jay is a crying, melting down mess on the hallway floor.  I try to pick him up and he kicks and screams and tries pulling me back to his room.  I guess he wants to spend more time “looking”.  Ooh, a thought just hit me, maybe he’ll grow up to be a world famous archeologist.  I mean, the kid loves to look for things.  lol.  Ok, back to the story.  I don’t have time for the fight this morning.  We have to go.  I stand there feeling completely defeated.  I simply don’t know what to do.  When this happens I come up blank.  My brain stops functioning.  Should I drag him kicking and screaming through the hallways of our appt building and feel like a terrible mom?  Be late and let him keep searching but who knows how long that will go on for.  And then … like a super hero … tan tan a naa!!! AC comes to the rescue.  He goes to Jay, holds his hand and says “lets go”.  Jay gets up and follows us out the door.  No noise, no tears, nothing.  I am confused, hurt, relieved and hot all at the same time.  Why doesn’t Jay respond to me?  He picks things up from his Dad easily.  Oh didn’t I tell you?  His Dad sent him to get a ball and he actually came back with a ball.  Amazing!!  I won’t even try because I know he wouldn’t do that for me.  AC calmly tells him to get up and lets go and he does. 

I’ve tried it all.  I try to be calm, and loving.  I try to yell and get stern.  He just doesn’t respond to me.  Well, anyway, for better or worse we’re out the door and about to make our 2 block walk to school.

We get there with no problems.  Jay settles into his class with no fuss.  Nice.  Then I walk Ace to his class and all hell breaks loose.  He clings to me, he’s crying real tears.  There’s snot and everything.  My super hero has failed me.  I’m definitely going to be late for work now.  I’m late for work so much I’m constantly nervous that it will get recognised and I’ll get in trouble for it.  So far it hasn’t been an issue so I’m thankful for small favours. 

I actually start to cry as Ace’s teacher comes and rips him off me so I can go.  He’s freaking out in the hallway outside of his class.  She tells me to just go.  “This is normal after a holiday week”.  But it is so hard to turn my back to him and walk away when I can hear him screaming for me.  Why me?  Why aren’t there other kids in the hallway behaving like this?  No matter what the teacher says I know this is not normal.  It’s me.  I’m not doing something right.  I just don’t know what that something is.  *sigh*

Oh and then I need to make the 25 min ride to work in 15 mins and actually function like a professional.  Poker face it up and smile and tell everyone what  great few days off I had and ask them about theirs.  I wonder if they’re all as full of it sometimes as I am.  I’ll probably never know.


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