Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

A happy Mom = A happy family April 27, 2011

Filed under: autism, autism mom, son does not talk — The B Side @ 2:26 pm
Tags: ,

I’ll cut to the chase today.  I’m stressed out.  I have some emotional baggage stemming from my earlier years.  Those usually stay buried somewhere deep but they pop up from time to time.  Adding 2 young children to the mix, 1 of which has special needs, and that’s not always a good combination. 

Most days I think I handle my life pretty well.  It’s not perfect.  I’m guessing yours isn’t either.  We could use more money, spend less time at work, get a helping hand from time to time, but all in all I feel lucky to have the husband and children I have.  Even with Jay’s challenges I know it could be worse.  I know there are other children out there with worse cases of Autism than he has.  I know there are children out there who have life threatening illnesses and their parents would be happy to have my problems.  I donate to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.  I can’t imagine having a child who has cancer and I have to sit by helplessly and watch them fight for their very life.  I know there are so so many women who are single-parents.  My hats off to you.  I know there are people who not only have sick children to deal with, but they have lost their job and they have sick parents to deal with also.  So, I get it.   In my head, I know I have a lot to be grateful for.

But none-the-less I am stressed today.  I’ve been feeling stressed for the past few days.  That’s not good for anybody.  I am sure my husband is wondering who this crazy person is that he married.  I mean I flipped out yesterday over a sticky Easter egg bucket.  My 4-year-old keeps telling me that he loves me and asks if I’m his friend.  Oh my poor baby.  Of course I’m your friend.  And I love you too.  So much. 

For the health and well-being of my family, I need to fix me.  I’ve been saying for months now that I want to start working out.  I’m not a worker-outer.  I’ve never been to a gym.  I tried running once and lasted all of 1 minute then I felt like a freight train had run over my chest.  I would like to do things like play tennis or racquet ball because that’s disguised as fun and it wouldn’t feel like a work out but alas, I have no-one to play with.  So I’m back to running.  I’m going to try it again.  I am thinking that will help me release some of my stress and make me a better mom and wife. 

Wish me luck.  This is step 1 in making me a better me.


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