I’ll cut to the chase today. I’m stressed out. I have some emotional baggage stemming from my earlier years. Those usually stay buried somewhere deep but they pop up from time to time. Adding 2 young children to the mix, 1 of which has special needs, and that’s not always a good combination.
Most days I think I handle my life pretty well. It’s not perfect. I’m guessing yours isn’t either. We could use more money, spend less time at work, get a helping hand from time to time, but all in all I feel lucky to have the husband and children I have. Even with Jay’s challenges I know it could be worse. I know there are other children out there with worse cases of Autism than he has. I know there are children out there who have life threatening illnesses and their parents would be happy to have my problems. I donate to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. I can’t imagine having a child who has cancer and I have to sit by helplessly and watch them fight for their very life. I know there are so so many women who are single-parents. My hats off to you. I know there are people who not only have sick children to deal with, but they have lost their job and they have sick parents to deal with also. So, I get it. In my head, I know I have a lot to be grateful for.
But none-the-less I am stressed today. I’ve been feeling stressed for the past few days. That’s not good for anybody. I am sure my husband is wondering who this crazy person is that he married. I mean I flipped out yesterday over a sticky Easter egg bucket. My 4-year-old keeps telling me that he loves me and asks if I’m his friend. Oh my poor baby. Of course I’m your friend. And I love you too. So much.
For the health and well-being of my family, I need to fix me. I’ve been saying for months now that I want to start working out. I’m not a worker-outer. I’ve never been to a gym. I tried running once and lasted all of 1 minute then I felt like a freight train had run over my chest. I would like to do things like play tennis or racquet ball because that’s disguised as fun and it wouldn’t feel like a work out but alas, I have no-one to play with. So I’m back to running. I’m going to try it again. I am thinking that will help me release some of my stress and make me a better mom and wife.
Wish me luck. This is step 1 in making me a better me.