life on the "j" train

Taking a "busy working mom with 2 special needs kids" life one moment at a time

On a roll August 15, 2011

I’m almost afraid to write.  I’m not superstitious but why jinx a good thing?  Jay has been so good lately.  I’m soaking it up but I’m also waiting for the bottom to fall out of my bucket. 

This past weekend Ace was with his Nanas again.  Do I have to call her his “beloved Nanas” every time I say her name?  Yes, I think I will. 

So while Ace was out loving life with his beloved Nanas, we got Jay all to ourselves.  And he got us too.  We made a full weekend of it.  Rain and all.  It’s not necessary to go into all the details so here’s a quick wrap-up.  We went out to breakfast.  Went to a couple of street fairs.  Went visiting with his cousin.  Went shopping for new toys.  Went shopping for CC (and that may have been where Jay had the most fun).  I’ll put a little detail here.  Usually when we go out, Jay is in the stroller or the front of the shopping cart but this weekend while CC was looking around, I let Jay run through the racks of clothes.  His giggles and belly laughing was … (there’s no 1 word) … food for my soul.  There may have been a few other shoppers giving us weird looks but whatever.  Who cares?  The way I see it, if you can’t appreciate the laughter of a child then you’re the one with the problem.  We played with a water spray bottle.  We hung out at home and enjoyed cuddle time.  Through it all, even when he was exhausted, really really exhausted, he was so well behaved.  I mean, the kid is a trooper.  I’m amazed by him.  Truly.  Under “normal” circumstances his ability to adapt and move from 1 activity to another would be worth talking about.  Under autism circumstances, it’s tremendous.  He totally just went with the flow.  Whatever we did, he did.  Wherever we took him, he just went.  When it was time to leave 1 place and head to another, he just left.  OK so when we left his cousins house he did manage to swipe a train on his way out so that wasn’t his best moment (stealing isn’t good afterall) but I’m choosing to focus on the part where he waved goodbye to people and simply followed us outside.  

It’s so SO easy to get bogged down with the everyday stuff.  You work at your job and then you work at home and you work at arranging therapy and doctors appointments and tutoring sessions and getting paperwork filled out and you work at finding time for your spouse and you work at doing something for yourself once in a while to help keep you  from losing your damn mind.  You WORK.

But this weekend there was none of that.  Jay was supposed to get a hair cut.  He didn’t.  I was supposed to go through the boys room and clean and sort through all the toys they no longer play with.  I didn’t.  CC was supposed to paint.  Yeah … that didn’t happen. 

You know what I was able to see in those moments of not being on a schedule and not rushing or working? … Jay can dress himself and I had no idea.  I always just do it for him.   1. It’s quicker and 2. I just assumed he needed my help.  Whenever we’d go to the doctor, as part of his developmental evaluation, they’d ask me if he can dress himself and I’d say something like  “No, he pushes his arm through if I hold his shirt and he recently started putting his sandals on but I wouldn’t say he can dress himself.”  Well, hand my boy a pair of shorts or pants, take a step back and they will go on.  Hand him a shirt and step back that too will go on.  If he goes for 1 pair of shoes and I say, “no not those, they dont match”, (cause that’s definitely something I would say.  lol) he’ll go for a different pair. 

…..

I’m sad (and mad at myself) to say that as part of every evaluation he’s every had, after they tell you all the things your child can NOT do that they should be doing, they ask you what your child is good at.  I was caught off guard by that the 1st time I was asked.  (1 year ago)  I didn’t expect it and I blanked.  I couldn’t come up with anything and that made me cry at the time.  I sat there staring at the evaluator and I had nothing.  How could I not think of ONE thing that he was good at.  I felt like such a bad mom. 

Ask me now.  I have a super duper long list of things that my son does amazingly well.  I’m going to make sure that these things get highlighted the next time (and every chance) I get.  These are the things that will take him far in life.  These are the things that will make him someone to be reckoned with.  Screw pointing to pictures in a book on command. 

I have the list ready … but I’ll just leave you with the two that stick out the most right now.  I don’t want this post to go on for eternity.

My boy is PERSISTENT.  Not only is he persistent, but if he’s been trying at something for a while and it’s not working he’ll try a different way and keep trying until he gets it done. 

My boy has COMMON SENSE.  That friends is priceless and there are lots of people who can talk, or who can make freinds easily, or who can write their names or who have PhD’s who could use some common sense. 

…..

Have a good week everyone.  Focus on the positive.  It’s there.  Even if you can’t see it right now.

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One Response to “On a roll”

  1. Michelle Says:

    Fantastic post, love you guys xxxx


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