“Don’t worry yourself over earthly things”
Those were the 1st words spoken at Church last Sunday. It was my 1st time going to Church since the last time I went and wrote about it.
It wasn’t an easy decision to go. I still felt somewhat wounded since the last time but I also felt like something was pulling me. This relationship I have with God and Church is very complicated.
I chose to go by myself this time. To ease my way back in so to speak. I’m so glad I went. It was one of those services that spoke to me. I felt like the pastor was having a conversation with me personally. I took in the lesson. It was one of being grateful for what you have. Not being jealous about what others have. There was talk of not comparing yourself to others and not complaining and grumbling about the cards you were dealt.
You see why it touched me right?
In my Church there are a lot of standard prayers that we say every week. It’s easy to say the words without paying much attention to their meaning. Last Sunday I went there with an open heart and I really focused on the words I was saying and singing. I took communion and prayed afterwards. It was a deep/meaningful prayer. I prayed for a lot of people. I prayed for a safer, more peaceful, more tolerant world. I prayed that I would become a better person.
I left there feeling lighter and ready for the week ahead.
It wasn’t an easy week. There were issues at work and Jay wasn’t his happiest. He wasn’t unbearable but he certainly had a very short fuse this week. Ace also got into a good bit of trouble at school. It turns out he thinks he’s the class entertainment and doesn’t like to listen to the teacher or follow rules.
I wondered if the week was rough as a test for my resolve to be more patient and less complainy. Or if I felt pulled to Church because God knew that a rough week was ahead of me. Either way, it did help. During the rough spots, I often found myself recalling the words I heard and reminding myself not to complain and to be patient and to stay calm.
Tomorrow, I’m going again. I don’t know if I’ll “feel” the same thing I felt last week but I sure hope so. I’m going with the same open heart. I’m also bringing Ace with me this time. He needs practice in sitting still and being quiet so I figure (WAY in the back of the) Church is as good a place as any.
Oh and look what happened yesterday …
Do you see it? The missing tooth at the bottom. Why is this picture here you ask ???
… Cause everything can’t always be about autism or how I’m feeling. 🙂
Here’s to a peaceful week!!!