life on the "j" train

Taking a "busy working mom with 2 special needs kids" life one moment at a time

Through a child’s eye October 3, 2011

I could stand to take a page out of Ace’s book.  He is such an amazing child.  He has a tender soul and a sweet innocence and can see the tiniest of rainbows through the most torrential of storms.  Have I told you lately how very much I love him and the way he brightens my life?  I know I’ve told him.  I tell him all the time.  I need him to know it deep down to his core. 

I wish I wasn’t the strainer-brain that my Grandma used to claim I was.  But alas, I recently read somewhere (I can’t remember where but maybe it was someones facebook status) that “life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but about learning to dance in the rain.”

My son … more than anyone else I know … dances in the rain. 

It wasn’t a great weekend in our house.  I was sick.  Cold chills, popping pills, drinking tea, curled up in bed, trying not to pass on my germs but hating telling my sons they couldn’t cuddle with me and I would read them a story but they would have to sit on the other side of the room kind of sick.  (Nice, long, run on sentences are fun!) 

We took both boys for their dental check ups during which we were told that Jay needs a procedure that will require him be put under sedation.  Ah … No!  He’s 3 and he’s my baby, and ah, that scares the crap out of me.  The anesthesiologist also is not covered by insurance so that’s a lovely $400 – $900 that will need to come out of our pocket.  The freight of putting my son under outweighs the money but shit, the money is definitely an issue also.  Ace had a better exam thankfully and was thrilled to get Spiderman stickers and was blissfully unaware of my inner angst.

On our way home we ran into serious car trouble.  Serous to the point of needing to get towed.  It turns out there’s something wrong with a transmission hosey thing and we’ll totally lose the use of one car until Thursday.  That’s 4 days away and oh yes, we only have the one car.  Again, Ace was gloriously unaware of my rising irritation and was  beside himself with excitement that he got to ride in a tow truck and to watch the flat-bed hoist our car up onto it’s back. 

Now it’s Monday morning and car is still in the shop.  Ace is getting a ride to school and I’m getting a ride to work from the same friendly neighbour whose gap Ace pointed out.  He had promised to be ready by 7:20.  We’re outside ready and waiting at 7:20.  At 7:45 he had yet to make his appearance.  I know I should be grateful and I know I shouldn’t complain and I should take what I can get under the circumstances but now Ace is going to miss breakfast at school and I’m going to be late for work AGAIN.  I happen to have 2 slices of raisin bread in my bag so I offer them to Ace as breakfast since I know once he gets to school he will have to go straight to class.  I sip my tea, he sits on the step and with a big grin on his face says … “Mummy we’re having a morning picnic”

“Yes baby we are.  It’s great having picnics with you.”  Now I’m smiling too.  Just like that he has turned everything around and my whole perspective has changed. 

An old co-worker of mine who I liked and respected very much said something to me a couple of years ago and it has stuck with me ever since.  He’s a single dad of a now 10 year old and had a lot of drama with his ex-wife.  I asked him 1 day how things were going and his response was that “Life is hard, but my son doesn’t know, so I’m good.” 

I love that.  I guess as parents that’s when we know we’re doing something right!

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2 Responses to “Through a child’s eye”

  1. Grace Says:

    I love that you had a morning picnic. Sometimes our little ones remind us so well of what’s important. I’m very high-strung and often miss the point of things like this. How wonderful that he reminded you!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I’m glad you could have a laugh. And it’s very nice to meet you.

  2. rhemashope Says:

    oh friend. here’s to praying and hoping this week is better for you. i’m so grateful for our kids – they always help us find the joy, don’t they. little gifts from God, they are.


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