Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

Here We Go (Again?) October 17, 2011

I have a post ready to go.  It’s not a happy post per se, but there is something positive in there.  Something really hopeful.  It’s a post about something that could easily have been missed but it wasn’t, so I get to write about it.  Yay!  The thing is though … Something else altogether kept me up last night and so I have to write about that instead. 

About 3 weeks ago, I wrote a post.  I never did hit “publish”.  I just let it sit there.  It was called “Nagging Feeling”.   I never polished it, and shined it up and made it pretty and into a real post.  It’s still in the 1st draft stage but I’ve decided to let you read it now. 


Nagging Feeling


I can’t get it out of my head.

This idea that Ace isn’t quite so typical. 

It’s not anything that the average person would pick up on but I’m not the average person. 

I’ve become somewhat of an expert at noticing little things in people’s behaviour that other people would miss. 


I know I’ve suggested before that I was concerned about Ace and thought that maybe he was on the spectrum and that was dismissed.  He just has too many of the traits though.  There are, of course, some that don’t apply, but there are many autism symptoms that Jay doesn’t exhibit either.  That doesn’t make his diagnosis any less valid.


My suspicions have grown since he started school.  He just seems to have a harder time with certain aspects of getting through the day than his peers do.  I notice his “weirdness” when we go on play dates.  I see him in the things I read when I’m doing research for Jay.  I recognize him in the things I read from other Moms who have children with ADHD/ASD/ABCDEFG. 


Bad eye contact when holding a conversation – Check

Limited ability/difficulty forming friendships – Check

Unusual speech patterns (Scripting) – Check

Awkward social skills – Check

Poor coordination/Clumsiness – Check

Can become obsessed with a single topic – Check

Delayed motor skills – Check

Easily distracted by irrelevant stimuli – Check

Fidgeting, squirming, getting up frequently, running or climbing excessively – Check, check and more check

Difficulty playing quietly or engaging in quiet leisure activities – Check

Talking excessively – The Checkest



On Friday, a letter came in the mail, but I didn’t notice it or open it until last night (Sunday).  It wasn’t a note in his bookbag.  It was a real letter, with a stamp, in our mailbox.  That makes it very official.  It was a letter from Ace’s teacher.  It read:


“I would like to meet with you regarding Ace and his progress in school.  Academically, he is doing well and he is meeting all his benchmarks, but his behavior in class concerns me.”    


I knew it was coming.  I know what she’s going to say.  It was always there.  Certainly not as obvious as Jay.  Nowhere near as bad as Jay.  (Or have I made that mistake before?)  I don’t know what it is.  Possibly Aspergers.  Possibly ADD/ADHD.  But there’s something.  


… To be continued …


3 Responses to “Here We Go (Again?)”

  1. Your emotion comes through so clearly from your ‘unpolished’ post. Brings me right back to that feeling of getting all the confirmations of my worries for my son. Stay strong.

  2. […] it quickly became obvious that not all the other little boys were like him.  He was … extra!  I then figured, it was a maturity issue.  He is after all the youngest child in the class so […]

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