life on the "j" train

Taking a "busy working mom with 2 special needs kids" life one moment at a time

Appointment Anxiety May 9, 2012

I have been dragging my feet working on getting Ace an appointment to see a Developmental Pediatrician for a few months now.  My 1st choice was for him to see Jay’s doctor, (since we had a few bad experiences with Jay before we finally found his current doctor who we are happy with).  It seems all the good places have waiting lists though so I ended up putting Ace on 3 different ones.  More because I was really feeling the pressure from his school to have him evaluated and less because I was in a rush to get him evaluated.  I wasn’t as aggressive as I had been to get Jay his initial appointment.  I kept giving Ace time to out-grow his ADHD-like symptoms.  I figured I’d be ready to take the doctor plunge by the time the summer came.  I knew I didn’t want to make first grade more difficult for him than it needed to be.

 

He’s always been a very active (some may say hyper) kid.  I used to think it was typical little boy behaviour but then once he started real school, it quickly became obvious that not all the other little boys were like him.  He wasextra!  I then figured, it was a maturity issue.  He is after all the youngest child in the class so maybe he just needed a few weeks to settle in and learn the right classroom behaviour from the older kids.  That hasn’t happened.  I thought, his teachers were fed up and were being unrealistic with their expectations of him.  After doing some digging, it doesn’t seem like that’s the case.  In fact, they have and continue to routinely go above and beyond for my boy.

CC and I have been to multiple meetings with his school – the 1st one was way back in September – about what they (we) can do to help him.  So far, nothing has worked.

 

It’s now May.  The end of the school year is 6 weeks away and there has been NO improvement in his ability to function properly in the classroom.  Not without accommodations anyway.

Accommodations that the school cannot (will not?) continue to allow without an official diagnosis.

He still zones out and interrupts conversations and rolls around on the floor and cannot sit still and is distracting and disruptive and has poor eye contact and is not aware of his body and cannot control his impulses and resists change and is stubborn and scripts (uses echolalia).

 

Even though I know there’s something there; To get the phone call – from Jay’s doctors office – that officially confirmed Ace’s appointment was hard on my heart.  I didn’t expect to feel like this but as the clock ticks down to his appointment day I imagine I will only feel more and more anxious about what the good Doc will say.

If she says he doesn’t fit the criteria for a diagnosis then we could be in for a hell of a difficult time in 1st grade – and likely beyond.  If she does assign him a diagnosis – a lot of things will change.  Right?  We’ll be a double diagnosis family.  What will that mean?  For our future?  For Ace’s future?

I don’t know.

 

One thing I’m sure of … in all the ways that matter – nothing will change.  Ace will still be my loving, kind, sensitive, entertaining, funny, charming, handsome, smart, brave, energetic, sweet love.

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8 Responses to “Appointment Anxiety”

  1. Lisa Says:

    First, big warms hugs. Second, I am in your shoes. Jake has an appointment with Tate’s neuropsych in July. I called back in March–after dragging my feet for 2 months after a school eval!! I am confident that we will be a dual diagnosis household, as well. I am positive that Jake has ADHD. Like you, we don’t know exactly what that means…but the diagnoses don’t change them. Just means we will work twice as hard to make sure they get what they need. You are doing a great job, and your boys are blessed to have you in their corner. Hang in there!!

  2. Lizbeth Says:

    You know when we went through this, even though you know what is true in your heart, it still cuts like a knife to have someone confirm it. It still does. My heart is with you on this.

  3. solodialogue Says:

    It’s gotta be hard emotionally in every way. But you know, in your heart, Ace is still Ace. You know that with a diagnosis, he will soar because it will simply open doors that may otherwise close. If he does not get the diagnosis, then, that too can be positive in it’s own way because there will be other ways to address his needs. You’ll see. xoxo

  4. rhemashope Says:

    Oh honey, I can only imagine how this must burden your heart. But just as nothing about Ace and your love for him for will change – diagnosis or not, I know God will guide you and give you the strength to give both of your beautiful boys exactly what they need. xo

  5. Sara Says:

    I can only imagine how stressful the wait is!

    As far as school goes, have you considered having him repeat kindergarten? Would the school allow that? We did that with Colin because he was not where he needed to be. Now he’s a happy, thriving 1st grader. With medication and more help at home, he was able to learn so much more on his 2nd round of kinder.

    • Thanks for reading and commenting. We actually haven’t considered him repeating since he’s keeping up with the school work but it may be worth considering. I’ll talk to the school and see what they think. I’ll do whatever is in his best long-term interest.

      • Sara Says:

        If he’s keeping up with the work, then medication might just do the trick. Colin was way behind academically.


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