I’m struggling to put together a coherent post.
Here’s a taste of why.
I got the following msgs over the course of a 1/2 an hour from CC today when he took Jay for his speech therapy.
J is soooooooo bad here
And doesn’t want the teacher to take him
It’s like he just wants to do his own thing
I feel they might send him out early
I can hear him screamin bad
Yoo it’s so bad
She said other kids lately have been doing the same thing but not as bad as him
Everybody is coming out saying “wow, he’s tough huh?”
And the poor girl is really trying
He just saying no and don’t want to do anything
He screamin like a pig getting killed
The teacher said he’s very strong minded and she said good luck
Apparently what triggered this was her refusing to give him her chair. When she gave up and decided to bring him out to the waiting room, he was all smiles.
That’s how Jay has been since last weekend. Yup, since 10 days ago. At 1st we thought it was because he wasn’t feeling well so we felt sorry for him and we knew it would pass once his fever broke and he was feeling better.
The fever broke. He’s feeling better.
Sometimes he will play, sometimes he will even laugh but for the most part, he’s still screaming.
He’s screamed A LOT everyday for over a week.
He screams and throws a tantrum for every little thing that doesn’t go his way.
This is a new behaviour. We have no idea where it came from or why it’s sticking around.
He screams if we tell him he can’t do something.
He screams if Ace won’t hand over whatever toy he’s currently playing with.
He screams if I look at him or if I ignore him.
He’ll seem fine and then … he’ll scream … then he’ll stop.
He screams when I change his diaper.
He screams when he’s sitting down. He screams when he’s standing up.
He screams for us to pick him up and then he screams to get put down.
He throws his toys and then screams that they are across the room.
He screams if we don’t say the scripts he wants us to say.
He screams if someone tells him hello.
He screams if he gets wet.
He screams if I close his closet door.
He screams if Ace sings – or talks.
He screams if it’s light. He screams if it’s dark.
He screams if we don’t understand what he’s screaming about.
I worry all day about my sweet little boy who is so tormented.
I want to help him. I want to understand him. And yes, I want to quiet him.
We’re walking on egg shells and our nerves are frayed and we have all-day head aches.
CC thinks we should deal with Jay one way, and I think another.
In general, CC deals with stress one way and I deal with stress another.
Things are a little tense.
I’m so tired of the screaming and the yelling and the frustration.
I don’t know what to do.
Last October I wrote THIS. It passed. Just as easily as it came.
I’m hoping with time and patience this will pass too.
As I was washing dishes a few days ago I thought to myself … “It really takes the patience of Job to deal with Jay sometimes.”
Then I went and read the Bible and read about all the things that Job endured while still holding steadfastly onto his faith in God. I want that kind of strength.
I realized I hadn’t made time to read the Bible in a long time.
Maybe this child I have really will be what brings me back to my faith.
Or maybe it will drive me further away. After all, it was trials in my life that broke me away in the 1st place.
I’m sure when I get home this evening I will be met with screaming.
For my sake, CC and Ace’s sake and the sake of my neighbours, I hope we are at least on the other side of the mountain.
I hope the light is around the next bend.