Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

The screamin’ August 22, 2012

Filed under: Life on the Jay train — The B Side @ 5:08 pm
Tags: , ,

I’m struggling to put together a coherent post.

 

Here’s a taste of why.

I got the following msgs over the course of a 1/2 an hour from CC today when he took Jay for his speech therapy.

 

J is soooooooo bad here

He’s screamin

And doesn’t want the teacher to take him

It’s like he just wants to do his own thing

I feel they might send him out early

I can hear him screamin bad

Yoo it’s so bad

She said other kids lately have been doing the same thing but not as bad as him

Everybody is coming out saying “wow, he’s tough huh?”

Still screamin

And the poor girl is really trying

He just saying no and don’t want to do anything

He screamin like a pig getting killed

The teacher said he’s very strong minded and she said good luck

 

Apparently what triggered this was her refusing to give him her chair.  When she gave up and decided to bring him out to the waiting room, he was all smiles.

 

That’s how Jay has been since last weekend.  Yup, since 10 days ago.  At 1st we thought it was because he wasn’t feeling well so we felt sorry for him and we knew it would pass once his fever broke and he was feeling better.

The fever broke.  He’s feeling better.

Sometimes he will play, sometimes he will even laugh but for the most part, he’s still screaming.

He’s screamed A LOT everyday for over a week.

He screams and throws a tantrum for every little thing that doesn’t go his way.

This is a new behaviour.  We have no idea where it came from or why it’s sticking around.

He screams if we tell him he can’t do something.

He screams if Ace won’t hand over whatever toy he’s currently playing with.

He screams if I look at him or if I ignore him.

He’ll seem fine and then … he’ll scream … then he’ll stop.

He screams when I change his diaper.

He screams when he’s sitting down.  He screams when he’s standing up.

He screams for us to pick him up and then he screams to get put down.

He throws his toys and then screams that they are across the room.

He screams if we don’t say the scripts he wants us to say.

He screams if someone tells him hello.

He screams if he gets wet.

He screams if I close his closet door.

He screams if Ace sings – or talks.

He screams if it’s light.  He screams if it’s dark.

He screams if we don’t understand what he’s screaming about.

 

I worry all day about my sweet little boy who is so tormented.

I want to help him.  I want to understand him.  And yes, I want to quiet him.

We’re walking on egg shells and our nerves are frayed and we have all-day head aches.

CC thinks we should deal with Jay one way, and I think another.

In general, CC deals with stress one way and I deal with stress another.

Things are a little tense.

I’m so tired of the screaming and the yelling and the frustration.

I don’t know what to do.

 

Last October I wrote THIS.  It passed.  Just as easily as it came.

I’m hoping with time and patience this will pass too.

As I was washing dishes a few days ago I thought to myself … “It really takes the patience of Job to deal with Jay sometimes.”

Then I went and read the Bible and read about all the things that Job endured while still holding steadfastly onto his faith in God.  I want that kind of strength.

I realized I hadn’t made time to read the Bible in a long time.

Maybe this child I have really will be what brings me back to my faith.

Or maybe it will drive me further away.  After all, it was trials in my life that broke me away in the 1st place.

I’m sure when I get home this evening I will be met with screaming.

For my sake, CC and Ace’s sake and the sake of my neighbours, I hope we are at least on the other side of the mountain.

I hope the light is around the next bend.

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14 Responses to “The screamin’”

  1. therocchronicles Says:

    I know the screaming well. I’ve probably written this post a couple years ago. I can only tell you that it will get better. It will. Roc still throws tantrums and he still screams about things, but not as much as he used to. He’s able to talk a lot more and we are able to reason with him more as he gets older. It will get better. I also understand how it feels when you deal one way and your partner deals another. It’s hard. The screaming makes it harder. It will get better. In the meantime, get ear plugs and stay calm.

  2. That sounds so tough, I am sorry. Could it be lingering illness not clearing up? Ear infection? Strep? Even though my son is very verbal, he does not identify pain easily. We have caught strep in him three times when he said he felt fine. Just a thought. I hope you all get some peace soon.

  3. cathmae Says:

    It’s not funny right now, but when you tell this story in a few years, you will laugh. And by the way, you are becoming that strong woman you want to be.

  4. Luna Says:

    oh sweetie, i’m so very sorry. i hate that for you, for all of you. i wish i had some sage advice, but i don’t. i heard everything you said. my husband and i disagree on strategies as well. we both are respectful (for the most part :P) about the other’s POV, but good parents are passionate when discussing the well-being of their children. “frustrating” doesn’t begin to cover it at times.

    my son has not had that severe of a reaction before. our lows are our lows, but watching him scream would tear my soul apart. i am heartbroken for you. i sincerely hope you find what you need to carry you through this and i hope it passes or the trigger is identified. 😦

  5. Luna Says:

    the first thing i think of when i hear of a child on the spectrum screaming is the gut issue. sometimes the yeast is out of balance affecting the way they process everything (food and thought). not sure how much you guys have looked into the gut lining issue, but i’ve heard many many times that it can cause exactly those behaviors. good luck, sweetie. 😦

    • I so appreciate comments. I have not heard anything about guts and linings before so I will need to research that and see if it may be a fit. Thanks bunches.

      • Luna Says:

        oh my, well, look into it. it’s usually called “leaky gut syndrome” and i have no idea how credible it is. the medical community swears it doesn’t exist. some moms i know personally say that giving their child probiotics changed their kids. the probiotics are meant to stabalize the gut bacteria. i’m not a big fan of doing the cleans methods on children, simply b/c i’m not informed enough. i know there are hazards involved with that. but i know two local moms who added probiotics to their child’s supplements and saw marked improvement. i really am heartbroken for you…best of luck.

  6. Lisa Says:

    Hugs…Tate used to be more of a screamer. Now it is whining…if he is sick or overly upset, the whining goes on incessantly. I would think it might be a lingering infection…and he is just uncomfortable and worn out from the pain. Could be leaky gut…does he have tummy issues?

    We have seen this behavior in Tate when his anxiety is high. Is school starting soon? New routine?

    I hope it passes soon…these are the times that try us greatly…

    • Hey. Thanks Lisa. He doesn’t have any tummy issues that are obvious to me. Also, he’s not aware that school is starting soon. He’s not at the level yet where we can prep him ahead of time. It may be lingering “not feeling well” stuff. That’s what I’m hoping. I do plan to take him to the doc tomorrow though to make sure there isn’t an ear infection or something else concrete that we can find.

  7. Neil N Says:

    I know it doesn’t mean much to hear “hang in there” … but … hang in there! These down patches, when the roller coaster bottoms out, are so difficult and yes so stressful. They apply pressure to a family to the point cracks begin to show. But you’re obviously thinking things through. You’ll emerge from this crisis — hopefully soon — stronger for the next one.

  8. Sara Says:

    I wish I knew of something to say that might help.
    *big hugs* I hope this is a phase and it passes soon.

  9. Flannery Says:

    All I can say is that I know how hard that must be, and I do hope things get better. But in the meantime, it really tests our limits as parents. Hang in there.

  10. […] There were so many words of support and advice and encouragement to my last post.  THANK YOU all very much.  I would like to tell you that the amount of screaming has […]


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