My baby boy turned 5 yesterday. He’s not such a baby anymore. They told me it would happen but it’s hard to believe when you are a teenager. They told me that as I got older, time would go by faster. They were right. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 5 years since I became a mother of 2. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been trying to help Jay (and our entire household) navigate through the Autism twists and turns for 3 years.
So much has changed in my life over the past 5 years – things I NEVER could have foreseen – and all of it has made me a better person and hopefully a better mother. The kind of mother who does not put her assumptions and expectations onto her children but who meets them where they are and does what will make them happy instead of forcing them to do what I THINK will make them happy.
I used to be the mother who would do things just for the photo op or because that’s what I did as a child or because I had done it for one child so I felt obligated to do it for the other. Not anymore.
I know my kids are different and need different things and enjoy different things – AND THAT’S OK.
So back to yesterday being Jay’s birthday …
What did we do to mark the momentous occasion you ask?
He got extra hugs in the morning from all of us and that made him laugh.
He went to school – where nothing different happened.
He went to his regularly scheduled social skills class – where nothing different happened.
We came home where he got to open his presents.
There was no cake – He doesn’t like cake.
There were no candles – Since there was no cake.
No singing of the birthday song.
Ace did home work while Jay played with his new gifts; of which his favourite was a pack of word cards I picked up at the dollar store and a box of skittles.
They wound down for the night at 7:30 and it was lights out at 8pm – as usual.
It was more or less, just another day – nothing unexpected – no big surprises – nothing to change the routine. Just some extra candy and a new pack of word cards.
Because that’s what makes my son happy and on his birthday, that’s all I want him to be.