life on the "j" train

Taking a "busy working mom with 2 special needs kids" life one moment at a time

How has your childs poop been lately? January 17, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — the jay train @ 12:12 pm
Tags: , ,

**Warning – This won’t be very graphic, but if you don’t like to read about or even think about poop, X out of this page and come back another time**

 

Ace LOVES his social skills group and looks forward to it every week.  He calls it his “fun class.”  I don’t mind that he thinks he’s going there just to have fun because he really is learning some valuable skills while he’s there.  Yesterday was all about being a good friend and listening and looking people in the eye and compromising. 

While the kids are inside playing learning, the parents sit in the waiting area and … well, wait.

 

This is a fairly new group so us parents don’t really know each other well – or at all.  Usually, we occupy ourselves with our phones or tablets.  Yesterday, one mom casually says to another, “How’s [your daughter] doing with the pottyI remember you saying a couple weeks ago that she was holding it and then getting constipated.”

And that is how 5 women from very different back grounds and with very different – but similar – lives launched into a 45 minute conversation about poop.  Everyone had a story (or several stories) to tell about their childrens pooping issues.  They ranged from constipation to diarrhea to the number of underwear that were unsalvageable and were therefore thrown out to needing to clean poop while at the park or the beach with no wet wipes handy to trying to clean the poop of one child at a pumpkin patch while making sure his twin didn’t wander off.  There was talk of what potty training strategies worked and which ones didn’t.  There were recommendations about what to use if your child won’t drink prune juice and there were stories about dealing with strangers who notice that your child looks too old to be in diapers and about striking up conversations with total strangers at Sesame Place because you noticed that their child looked too old to be in swimming diapers and giving winks and soflty whispering “I get it“.  There were lots of stories about getting pooped on and about cleaning poop off walls and the floor.  (Thankfully, none of those were mine.)  There were stories about having issues with schools or teachers who didn’t want to deal with poop and there were success stories and a reassuring touch on the shoulder with the words “It’ll get better.”

 

Somewhere in the middle of all this potty talk, I giggled.  I looked around at the group.  A chubby, quietly-friendly brunette with twin boys. A shy, Indian with one daughter and one child apparently on the way.  A tall, thin blond with a blond biological son and a dark-skinned adopted son.  A loud-talking, curly haired, Puerto Rican with a daughter and son – both with special needs.  And me. 

I couldn’t think of another place where this group of women would be sitting around discussing their childrens bathroom struggles.  There were no hushed tones and no judgment or embarrassment and no line that wasn’t crossed.  There were a couple people in the room who did not join in the conversation but no-one batted an eye.  It was as if we were giving our opinions on the latest fashions or Taylor Swifts latest dumpee.

I thought about our children inside learning how to behave appropriately and I wondered what they would think about their parents telling strangers about how many times they had made a mess of themselves.  They would probably be mortified.  But yet, there we were and when the hour of therapy was up, we collected our precious cargo and jumped into our vehicles and went about our business as if what had just happened was perfectly normal. 

 

 

 

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13 Responses to “How has your childs poop been lately?”

  1. LettersHead Says:

    Been there, done that. Just yesterday I was talking to a journalist who told me that of all the different kinds of families she interviews she likes the ones on the spectrum the best because they are all diverse in many ways but two: they are all interesting and they all have a sense of humor. I run a support group that mirrors in makeup and context what you have said here – and you said it well. Thanks.

    • Hi 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting. I love comments because all bloggers love comments and they introduce me to new people and their blogs. Will check yours out shortly.

      • LettersHead Says:

        Thanks – I agree comments are great for the connections they forge. I have two blogs – I Wouldn’t Have Missed It is more autism-oriented than LettersHead, which usually pops up first.

  2. Michelle Says:

    Sounds like good therapy for the parents too then!

  3. eiserty Says:

    I am laughing! I can so relate. I have never thought about poop so much in my life. Now it seems normal. At least normal to parents like us.

  4. Thanks for asking! Poop is such a dominating factor in our day to day life until that magic moment we are all aiming for when our kids can manage their own toileting (may it come soon!). I told someone recently that we are 90% there. Then I had the last couple of days when the diabolical mess I had to clean up several times a day – truly made me feel quite desperate. There oughta be a universal rule about how much poop you have to clean up in a lifetime. I know I am well over the limit. Still I try to start each day with hope & patience & strategy. We WILL get there!

  5. cathmae Says:

    This reminds me of the first conference I attended on Biomedical approaches to autism treatment. During one workshops on gastro-intestinal inflammation, there was a powerpoint presentation with photos of poop! Lots of them! And huge… screen-sized! It was a relief to know that it was not only our very constipated son who was producing these massive toilet-clogging poops that we could barely fathom how he even pushed them out!

  6. OneLoCoMommy Says:

    There’s a saying in Husband’s family – “it all comes back to poop”. We have worked through a lot of potty issues, except for the automatic toilets. I don’t think that one is ever going to go away.

    • I realize now that we got off easy with ours. All we had was a slight delay in potty training (almost 5) and some constipation here and there. Don’t give up on the automatic toilets.

  7. Ann Kilter Says:

    I remember those days. It’s so nice to be able to talk to others who really, really understand. That’s what this is about.

  8. […] … So last night I was back in the OT waiting room.  There was a whole new topic being discussed.  I didn’t join in this one because I had no […]


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