Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

Nose Bleed April 22, 2013

Filed under: Life on the Jay train — The B Side @ 4:43 pm
Tags: , , ,

I know this may change later but for now, animals are Jay’s NUMBER ONE obsession.  He loves them all.  From ants to elephants.  From bees to wildebeests.  From dogs and cats to eagles and giraffes.  Did you know there was an animal called a tapir?  I do, thanks to Jay.  Have you ever heard of a narwhal?  Do you know anything about one?  How about a tamarin?  Jay knows them all.  His ability to remember animal names and information is astounding. He loves seeing animals:  In pictures, on the TV, in real life.  He loves having toy ones to play with and he loves saying their names over and over again.

That’s not to say he’s always as gentle with them as he should be.  Or that he always plays appropriately with a live one, but he has good intentions.  He’s still learning that part.

CC and Ace are both animal lovers too.  I go along for the ride as best as I can manage.


The problem with this is that animals are also the things that cause Jay (and therefore us) the most anxiety.  For example. he gets mad when he has seen one (or a picture of one) and says the name but we don’t repeat it back to him quickly enough.

Over the weekend, I was reminded of a fellow blogger, Neil.  His family is a hockey family.  It’s their thing.  It’s something they all enjoy together.  Neils son Ryan, loves hockey statistics.  Neil will tell you that Ryan obsesses over them.  So much so that lately, Ryan has been so caught up in one stat that he couldn’t even bear to watch hockey anymore.  Hockey had “turned on them.”  It made me sad for all 4 of them that they would lose something that brought them so much joy and created such a connection.  I’m happy to report that they seem to have turned a corner and were able to enjoy a hockey game together yesterday.


I’m hoping that we are able to find a way to nurture Jay’s love of animals without getting to the dark place that Jay got to yesterday.


Jay was looking out of the window in our bedroom, waiting for someone to walk a dog.  He just wanted to see a dog walk by.  He kept asking CC and I “Where doggie?”.

None came.

Jay was a fixture in that window and eventually got himself so worked up that his nose started bleeding.  It was quite significant.  Not only was his nose bleeding, he was sweating profusely.  CC stayed calm (he’s prone to nose bleeds) but I was terrified.

I mean really?  No dog walked by so he got a nose bleed?  This is brand new territory for us.

We (mostly CC) got Jay calmed down and cleaned up and the nose bleed stopped but he went right back to the window.  Still no dogs were being walked and still the questions came: “Where doggie?”


The rest of the day wasn’t bad.  We managed to go out to eat and Jay took a nap and I was able to do some chores that I have been meaning to get to … but I kept thinking about that wretched nose bleed.  I don’t want animals to be the thing that makes him have a bad day.  I sure don’t want him to keep getting anxiety induced nose bleeds.





A Couple Of Notes – If you are new here … THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME to read my ramblings.  But, if you know us for real – please use our blog names in your comments.  The husband is CC, the kids are Ace and Jay and I’m the fabulous Deenie.  *Takes a bow*

Also – I REALLY HOPE YOU STICK AROUND so don’t forget to sign up so you get an e-mail each time I post something.  It’s easier for you so you don’t have to keep checking in.



10 Responses to “Nose Bleed”

  1. Tamara Haynes-Rampasard Says:

    I am obsessed with reading your blogs Deenie, thanks for the note at the bottom :). Looking forward to tomorrow’s blog.

  2. Neil N Says:

    Hang in there. It will get better. I know. 🙂

  3. charlene Says:

    Hang in there Deenie! Continue to be the supportive parent you are. Not many kids like Jay have the incredible support system provided by you, CC, and Ace. I also applaud your courage to share your joys, struggles, and vulnerabilities. Thank you for spreading the word on autism. I am sure many individuals will learn from your blog.

    Take a bow!

  4. Brinabird Says:

    I can imagine the fixations must be really hard. All you can do is keep doing what you are doing and you guys will see this through.

  5. cathmae Says:

    This reminds me of a fixation my son had for several years. Every time someone went upstairs or downstairs, he would say “Derek go upstairs” or “John go downstairs” and would say it over and over again, insisting we repeat it everytime. Sometimes we had to say it 20 times before he was satisfied. He would climb onto our laps, hold our chin and force us to make eye contact and say it. No one wanted to be caught on the stairs as the cycle would start all over again. During the worst of it, we went on vacation and our accommodations were all on one level. My other son Derek said the best thing about our vacation was no stairs. Sad… in a funny way. 🙂

  6. Ann Kilter Says:

    Do you think you might get a dog? Or maybe volunteer with the humane society? We have always had dogs and cats. (One dog at a time). Our dogs have been medium sized mutts. Our first cat, named “Cat,” loved young children and babies. A dog understands without words. Trixie was the dog of my children’s childhood…and black lab mix that had been abandoned. She loved our children and vice versa. She lived with us for 12 years. Now we have Daisy – a golden sheltie mix.

    • There are a few reasons we don’t have a dog. We live in an apt and so couldn’t just let it out into the back yard. We’d have to be there to walk it a couple times a day and I’m not sure how well that would fit into our schedules. Also, we go away quite often for weekends or longer and have no-one to watch a dog while we are gone. Volunteering at a humane shelter might be a great idea though. I’m going to look into it. Thanks.

  7. Andrea Says:

    Wow!!!! Deenie, u got me hooked on ur blogs. Thank goodness CC was home at the time of Jay’s nose bleed caz i am sure u wud have totally lost it. Hope Ace did not experience the nose bleed and that if he did he was calm like CC. U, Deenie and CC are amazing, Ace too. I am glad the day i joined Facebook so i got to link with u and ur family. Love u guys 🙂

    • Hey Andrea. Thanks for the words of support. Me and C definitely don’t always get our parenting right, but that’s part of why I am opening up so much. I want everyone, no matter what, to know they are not alone in having bad days or thinking bad thoughts and also when something good happens, I feel like we should be there to celebrate with each other. xoxo

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