Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

Listening To What He’s Doing June 7, 2013

My Jay is somewhat verbal.  He can communicate a lot of things to us using words, but so too, there are a lot of things that he doesn’t yet know how to say.  When he cannot use his words, he uses the only other tool he has.  Behaviour.  I’ve never heard him say anything like, “I love water.  Today was a good day.  It makes me happy to be here.”  But when I see him jumping around and squealing with a big dimpled, grin on his face;  that behaviour speaks to me.

There are the times when he is crying and pulling and pushing and kicking.  That behaviour tells me that something is bothering him a whole heck of a lot.  It’s then my job to try and figure out what that thing is.


But this is not a story about him crying and screaming.  It’s not even a story about him laughing and jumping up and down.  It’s a story about him saying something loud and clear, but me not hearing.


I don’t know if any of you noticed in yesterdays post that Jay was wearing a fedora in the last picture.  That fedora is mine.  For some reason, Jay took a liking to it and wanted to wear it all weekend.  I think it’s hella cute on him so I let him.  And then I took lots of pictures.  🙂



Since I want to keep my hat and since I want to be able to wear my hat from time to time I went and got Jay his very own child sized fedora.  I brought it home and proudly handed it to him.  He seemed happy to get it but by the time I had turned my back and then looked at him again, he was wearing MY hat and HIS hat was thrown down on the floor.

I spent the next day trying to get him to wear his new hat but he kept batting it across the room and insisted on wearing mine.  Whenever I would pick the hat up and try to put it on his head he would duck out of my way and run off.


I was a little annoyed.  I like my hat and didn’t want it to get all mis-shaped and also, as a general rule, I’m not a great sharer.  I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older, but I grew up as an only child and I don’t like people messing with my stuff.  Even if they are cute little boys who I love.


About 2 days later, Ace tried on the hat that I had bought for Jay and loudly pronounced: “This hat is so small.  It doesn’t even fit me.”

Wait … What?!

I know I had checked the label and I had bought a large kids size so he’d have some room to grow into it.  There’s no way Ace’s head is THAT big.  I checked the label again and true to my memory it did say L for large.  It also said “2-4 yrs”.  Ooops!  I hadn’t seen that part when I was in the store.  Apparently, the store makes 2 sets of hats.  One for babies/toddlers and one for big boys.  Each set goes from small to large.


I went back to the store.  Returned the large toddler size hat and got the large big boy hat.  I took it home and Jay happily went to school today wearing his own hat and my hat is safely back where it belongs.


If only I had “listened” to what Jay was showing me, I would’ve gotten my hat back sooner and it wouldn’t have popcorn crumbs all over it.


7 Responses to “Listening To What He’s Doing”

  1. Ann Kilter Says:

    My friend’ s son refused to eat potatoes. Turns out. He was allergic to them. Made him feel strange. Now my son would only eat bland foods. That was due at least in part to his autism.

  2. Lisa Says:

    I miss things, too. I do firmly believe that behavior is communication. Sometimes, though, we still need interpreters!! I hope Jay enjoys his new, well-fitted, hat!

  3. Brinabird Says:

    I think every mum can identify with this one!

  4. Michelle Says:

    Yes every mum can relate to this, sometimes we forget to look for the real reason behind their actions!

  5. Cyn Says:

    Wow! I think I just hit myself on the head because I wonder how many times my son has been trying to tell me something. Great post!

  6. Andrea Says:

    LOLLLL!!!!Sorry Deenie, not laughing at you but with you. Thank goodness for Ace, smart child 🙂 That hat sure makes Jay pretty handsome.

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