life on the "j" train

Taking a "busy working mom with 2 special needs kids" life one moment at a time

Budding Men April 6, 2015

Filed under: ADHD,Autism,Family,Life on the Jay train,Special Needs Kids — the jay train @ 4:35 pm
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Do I sometimes miss their baby selves?  Yup, sure do.  Especially when I look at old pictures of them.  I loved the smell of baby powder and kissing the chubby cheeks.  The 1st steps that looked like they were drunk and holding their hands as they went down the slide at the park.

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Would I go back to those days if I could?  Nope, sure wouldn’t.  It is nice to see my boys growing up and becoming more independent.  Having their own personalities and opinions.  OK, maybe the opinions part is a toss up.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not rushing them to adulthood and I’m not wishing away the years.  But it is easier on me in a lot of ways now.  They don’t physically depend on me  anymore to fulfill their every need and the truth is that feels great.  I can tell them to stand beside me and wait to cross the street while I have my hands full of groceries.  No longer do I need to be holding onto one or the other of them for fear that they will dart out into the street.  Certainly as kids get older you trade one set of problems (eg. not sleeping through the night and changing poopy diapers) for others (eg. them wanting expensive new sneakers and asking to borrow your car).

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Right now we are in a stage where the kids fight with each other just for the sake of fighting and where they want every toy that they see advertised on TV.  They don’t want to do homework or study their times tables and they definitely don’t see why they need to take a bath and brush their teeth EVERY DAY!!!  Oh, and they think everything is “SOOO UNFAIR“.

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But I’ll take those problems because – The other day I had a headache and I felt achy and just overall not in the mood to do anything other than go to bed.

When we got home in the evening I told the boys I wasn’t feeling well and asked them to please take it easy on me and just do what they knew they needed to without any fussing.

Jay’s version of taking it easy on me was to repeatedly ask me/tell me that I wasn’t feeling well … All the while playing with his toys and NOT taking a bath or brushing his teeth.  But it was sweet because he also didn’t ask me to do anything for him.  He didn’t need my computer or juice or for me to “talk to Ace” on his behalf.

Ace’s version of taking it easy on me was to do what he always does.  Talk too much and too loudly … which didn’t help me to feel better, what with the headache and all, BUT when he got hungry he took it upon himself to make some Kraft Mac and Cheese and even took care of the nightly milk for both him and Jay.

It was awesome!!!

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So there you have it.  I made an entire post about how grown up my boys are because Jay entertained himself for one evening and Ace made himself some mac and cheese.   Simple things that signify a change in our relationship and ushers in a new phase of how they need me.

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I was in bed and asleep by 9 pm and felt much better the next day – which was just as good because they were back to needing me to referee their fights and to teach them to blow bubbles with bubble gum and to pull “too-snug” lego pieces apart and to open “just one more” bag of popcorn.  And then “just one more”.

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