I meant to do a post following my “catching up” post that had a bunch of pictures that we’ve taken over the last month or so – But – I’m having technical difficulties. To everyone who knows me that’s shocking I know. NOT!!! lol
So the pictures will have to wait until I figure out how to properly use a computer or until someone who knows what they’re doing comes to my rescue (*Robbo, that’s my bat signal*).
I do have something else I can talk about in the mean time though.
I found out fairly recently that Jay really responds to rules. It makes sense to him that if something is a rule you have to do it and he doesn’t make much fuss. I have used it a couple of times … For example, when he decided he didn’t want to change out of his pajamas in the morning I said, “Jay, please put on your uniform. It’s the school rules.” Boom. He changed with no further argument.
I try not to over do it or abuse it because he takes the rules very seriously. So I can’t use it unless I’m sure that whatever I’m calling a rule is something I know will be the case for a long, LONG time.
I did want to make good use of it though and wondered if it would be helpful in toning down his attitude and make him easier to live with. I mean — I wanted to use whatever tools I could to help all of us be better.
I wrote out a list of House Rules.
- Listen to Mom.
- Flush the toilet after you use it.
- Wash hands after using the bathroom.
- Clean up your mess.
- No giving attitude.
- Be nice to each other.
I thought that was a well-rounded list that would not be too overwhelming but covered the basics of how I’d like things to go.
It has actually been a success. When Jay starts to get bossy or to talk in a manner that’s rude-sounding, I remind him of the rules and he switches it up and uses his inside voice and his pleases and thank yous.
When I walk past the bathroom and see clothes on the floor I calmly remind them of the rules and they both go pick up their dirty clothes and deposit them in the laundry basket.
Ace immediately saw the power in this and wanted to add to the list. He wanted to make it a rule that Jay was not allowed into his (Ace’s) bed without approval. He wanted to make it a rule that they had to eat dinner, then take showers before bed. (Jay often doesn’t want to take his shower). He wanted to make it a rule that Jay would not sing and annoy him.
Seeing where this was going and not wanting to be outdone Jay also asked if he could add to the list. He wanted to make it a rule that they ate candy and drank milk before bed and that we read stories.
Clearly I didn’t allow the “no singing” or “candy eating” rules but I told them to think carefully about what they wanted to add and each of them would be allowed to add one thing.
I couldn’t very well have a list of 500 things on it and if left up to them that’s where we were headed.
Ace’s contribution was that everyone had to help with chores. Which was very obviously directed at Jay who is always “too tired” to do his chores or who finds cleaning up, toting groceries, feeding the cat and anything that is NOT playing, to be “too hard”.
Jay’s contribution was that everyone was to get good sleep. I’m not sure what he means by that but it sounds great to me so I allowed it.