life on the "j" train

Taking a "busy working mom with 2 special needs kids" life one moment at a time

Gift October 5, 2015

Filed under: ADHD,Autism,Family,Life on the Jay train,Special Needs Kids — the jay train @ 10:30 am
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My friend SunMan says my blog gets too mushy.  What can I say?  I’m a mushy person.  I love love.  I am sentimental.  I am emotional.  It is what it is.

The other day I had begun to write a post about my Ace.  Oooh it was to be a doozy of a mushy love letter.  It needed some revising.  I needed to expand on some of the bullet points.  Maybe turn them into paragraphs.  Do something to make it publish-able.

.

It’s not his birthday time.  It’s not anything other than a mother who day after day looks at her son and marvels at him.  I don’t know if he was destined to just be this sweet due to his genes or if the life we’ve lived has molded him this way.  It’s probably a combination of the two.  He’s really growing up and becoming more responsible and I love what I’m seeing.

This boy, who has more power over me than he will ever know, is a GIFT.

He’s the kind of gift that not everyone will instantly recognize.  Sometimes you have to look just beneath the surface to see that he’s a treasure.

They will see that he’s goofy.

They will see that he’s active.

They will hear him talking too loudly.

They will see him turning in his home work late.

They won’t see how he recognized his friend was having a bad moment so he asked if the friend wanted to be alone or wanted him to sit with him.

He packs lunch boxes for himself and brother

Helps brother with socks and shoes.

Makes own Ramen Noodles.

Turns on kettle so Mom can get tea.

Said “I understand you needing a minute. Sometimes I feel that way too.”

Extra nice to the new kid at school.  Told me that he was nervous about going to new class so going to a whole new school must be even worse.

Sees the good in everyone.

He loves unconditionally.

He is compassionate and caring.

.

This weekend he did something that he knew he was not supposed to do.  He probably thought it was harmless.  Funny even.  I was VERY disappointed in him.  Like … Really really disappointed.  I gave him the speech about how difficult it is to earn back trust once it’s been lost.  I told him that he knew better and I know that he knew better.  It wasn’t good.

This boy, who is turning into a man – and who I have to help mold – is not perfect.  He will screw up and he will make bad decisions.  He will be sorry for some of the things he does.

We have all been there.  I know I have.  I’ve been there more times than I should have been.  Making bad decisions; being sorry for things I’ve done.  I get it.

It’s hard when the people we love mess up.  But an occasional mess up doesn’t define who they (we) are.

Today I am still not over what he did.  But these incidents are rare.  He really is a good kid.   He is a treasure.  I needed to remember that today.  Reading through the bullet points of my draft did the trick.  Through it all – No matter what he does or will do in the future – He will always be a most precious gift to me and to everyone who is lucky enough to really see him.

This boy, who has more power over me than he will ever know, is a GIFT.

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One Response to “Gift”

  1. Sunman Says:

    Yu mushy like soft rice, still love you nuff nuff blossom


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