So, sometimes I get a little emo. It’s just who I am. I get all into my feelings.
With this new job I have about a one hour commute. If there’s an accident, which there often is, it can take a good bit longer. This gives me a lot of time to think. To overthink is probably a better way to say it. Again, it’s just who I am.
Yesterday was one of the days that I was alone, in the car, with my thoughts, for a long time.
I thought about my boys – As I so often do. I love them so damn much. I worry about them so damn much.
Then I decided that I didn’t really want to be in an emo mood so I wound the windows down and put on some loud music. That takes me to a different place.
First up was Barbra Streisand. Don’t judge me. Left In The Dark is an awesome song. I know all the words, every du dum of the drum as she asks her man “And who made the very first move?”. There’s nothing better than singing along to an awesome song. One that starts out slow and subdued and builds up to a climax.
Next, I turned to Meatloaf. Bat Out Of Hell is one of my favourite albums. I love the theatrics of it all. The music, the vocals – It’s all so … well … dramatic!
I suppose then it comes as no surprise that in my top 5 of all time fave songs is – Bohemian Rhapsody. Can we say DRAMA!!! 🙂
None of this is typical of a black girl from the country parts of small island Jamaica.
I have my Dad to thank. He’s into that stuff. I started thinking about him. He’s not ALL bad. He introduced me to a lot of music that I probably would not otherwise have discovered. He also got me listening to Howard Stern. It’s been 20 years since I first began listening to Howard as a passenger in my Dads car and I still listen to this day.
I guess I can appreciate that even though things are what they are now, he did give me those things.
Fathers Day is around the corner. Everyone is about to post all over social media about how great their fathers are or wish a happy fathers day to their moms who have played both roles. I’ll be saying neither.
My Grandad was a really good father to me. He wasn’t the best person ever. But I was lucky to have had him. I had a happy childhood and I always felt like I could go to him and he’d be in my corner. I’ve had to go to him and he was in my corner. From him I developed a love for big sporting events; Olympics, World Cup etc. We would watch Miss World and Miss Universe contests and we’d talk about politics. I’m still into those things; as corny as Miss “Anything” contests are. He tried to get me to like Westerns but I just couldn’t get into that.
I miss him.
I know the territory, I’ve been around
It’ll all turn to dust and we’ll all fall down
Sooner or later you’ll be screwing around
I won’t do that
No, I won’t do that
Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that
No, I won’t do that
Oh heck – There I go thinking again. I missed the whole song. Rewind. And THIS time, I’ll stop thinking and I’ll actually sing along.