One of Jay’s main issues has always been controlling his emotions. When he gets upset, he gets REALLY upset. It’s often hard for him to calm down following a meltdown. He can hold on to grudges for a LONG time. (Maybe that’s genetic … lol) Seriously though, if he’s been “wronged” in some way, he has been known to stay mad for hours. Some kid used his markers. I (justifiably) yelled at him. Shawnie pranked him. Cartoon Network isn’t showing what he wants to watch at the moment. Ace ate the last gummy bear. He has been known to go to sleep seemingly happy and then wake up still mad about something that I thought had already been resolved. He will not eat. He will not talk. He will not play. He is a brooder.
Things are definitely better now than that used to be. His meltdowns are way fewer and way less explosive and don’t last nearly as long. We continue to help him come up with strategies to manage his day though.
The other day, he was on the laptop working in his current favourite website and he wrote the following and brought it to me so I could read it.
*Spelling fixed but nothing else*
Dear mom. I love you so much. When I said I hate you, do not say that. because that’s not nice. When you get upset, calm yourself down. You can take a deep breath, play something or anything. Me too. I have to listen to teacher, and counselor. if I need help, just tell a teacher or a grown up.
This makes me so happy. The progress is truly astounding.
Apparently Jay had a little rough patch at camp yesterday due to a pottery incident. (I know because the counselor called). I expected him to come home angry. Complaining. I was ready to hear all about the mug that he made and then decided that he wanted to make a vase instead.
When I saw him, he hugged me hello and went about his business. He seemed happy and mentioned nothing about the mug, vase, fiasco. He was more interested in when his grilled cheese sandwich would be ready. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I asked him how camp was that day. In his own words … “It was pretty good. I went outside.”
Dude got mad, then went outside to get a breather and calm down. Then came home happy.
Yup, truly astounding progress!