Very often, life is incredibly beautiful. Very often, life is incredibly difficult. Just as often, both of those things are happening at the same exact time.
If you are lucky enough to find someone who makes the beautiful moments even more so and the difficult times somewhat bearable, then hold onto them with both hands. If you find someone who you love and who in turn loves you and is as committed to you and your happiness/success/well-being as they are to their own, then cherish them. Don’t let them go. Certainly don’t let them go because of what other people think.
Find your real people. The ones who willingly share your burdens. The ones who make you laugh and who comfort you and who are good influences on your children and who bend over backwards for you. The ones who welcome you with wide open arms and want nothing more than for you to be happy.
Ignore the ones who do not make any effort for you. The ones who make excuses and who don’t show any concern and who forget important dates and who obviously don’t care about your feelings or appreciate your time/sacrifices. The ones who talk about you but not to you. The ones who add nothing of substance but would have you live by their rules. The people who are happy living in their own sin but who would judge you for your perceived transgressions. No matter what their titles are, those are not your people and you do not need them. Life is hard enough without them adding to it.
At the end of the day, there’s no use pretending to be someone you are not. There’s no point in being lonely and no reward for being unhappy. There is no prize for leaving yourself unfulfilled in order to please people who should be focusing their energy on other, more worthwhile, ventures.
I am no different than anyone else.
My life has had a lot of very difficult moments. My life has had a lot of very beautiful moments.
I have truly amazing friends who have been there with me and stood by me through it all. I have found romantic love and lost romantic love. I am in love now – And I couldn’t ask her to love me (or my boys) any better.
I cannot imagine doing life without these people. I would not want to imagine it.
But, there are those who would attack us with their religious speeches. The ones who would deny my wife and I our happiness/rights and deny my children an awesome parent. The re-married “adulterous” divorcees who quote one verse of the Bible to justify their anger/hatred/fear of gay people, but happily disregard the parts that say women should be silent in church and keep their heads covered or that shrimp is an abomination or that allows for incest and polygamy and slavery and that speaks of women as property for fathers to give away and for men to own/pass from brother to brother.
A few months ago they were posting about “Black Lives Matter” but now that it’s June they are posting about being “Straight and Proud”. They don’t see that proclaiming Straight Pride is the same as proclaiming All Lives Matter.
These same people, with their holier than thou attitudes when it comes to homosexuality, have no problem with other forms of supposed sexual immorality. They have no problem getting drunk on a regular basis or not tything or touching a menstruating woman. Others remain silent when their friends spew racism and the worst of them condone men in their family who have molested children. They welcome these sick bastards into their homes and they smile with them and wish them a happy fathers day.
I am not here to bash the Bible or religion or church goers. I am bashing the hypocrisy. I am bashing the picking and choosing of which Bible verses to pay attention to and make a big deal out of. I believe the Bible can and should be used as a tool for good. It should not be used as a weapon. I believe there are a lot of benefits to having a church family. I also believe it’s not possible to take everything the Bible says (in both the old and new testament) literally.
I believe at the end of the day, Jesus was about love. Jesus was about protecting children and healing the sick and befriending the outcast.
When He gave His sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7), He talked about anger issues and lust (for another mans woman) and divorce and making promises and retaliation and loving your enemies and giving to the needy and fasting and anxiety and judging others and He taught people how to pray.
These are the things He preached about.
Shaunie and I didn’t attend any Pride events this month as it wasn’t convenient this time around. We were busy living our lives. Paying our taxes. Pumping our gas. Watching kid friendly movies. Going to the dentist. Hanging out with friends and hosting Grandma. That’s not to say I don’t fully support them though. I do. I understand the desire to celebrate with and to be surrounded by other LGBT+ people. I am 100% on board with activism and I think it’s totally ridiculous that laws get enacted based on the religious beliefs of some.
Life is hard enough without us imposing additional and unnecessary burdens on each other. We should let people feel comfortable enough to find their true love; whoever that may be and whatever body parts that person may have. Let people adopt children and give them a good home no matter the gender make-up of the household. Provide a safe learning environment for all students regardless of their gender expression. Stand up to bullies in every form. Ban work place and/or healthcare discrimination based on sexual orientation.
To everyone I say, I don’t have all the answers to all the questions. None of us do. But I do know it is NOT our job to make things harder. It’s just not. It IS our job to make getting through this damn difficult thing called life as happy as possible for as many people as possible. It IS our job to leave the world a better and safer place for the next generation.
To my fellow LGBT+ people, in addition to the above I say, keep your head up. Be proud. Be open. Don’t give up the fight for equality. Handle your personal business. Live your truth and let your light – and rainbow – shine!