Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

Team Growth February 27, 2017

On Saturday evening we were trying to decide whether to go to the 9 am Church service the next day or the 11 am one.  We’re not really the best at being morning people so 11am would suit us better in terms of waking up and getting ready but if we go at 9 am then the kids can go to Sunday school whereas if we go to 11am they have to sit with us in the sanctuary.

Decisions Decisions.

For me it’s a no-brainer and the extra sleep wins.  I voted for 11am because as I put it “The kids will be fine.  They did a good job last time.”

Shaunie had a different take.  According to her I frame everything around how much better they are now than they used to be.  So basically, even though we sit in the back just in case we need to leave during the service and we bring snacks and we threaten to take away electronics if they don’t behave and we spend about half of the time shhh’ing them, I count it as a win because we make it through without any yelling or crying – which was not always the case.

She feels like they still have a little way to go and are better off hanging out with the  other kids in a different room.

 

We ended up going to the 11am service.  We made sure the boys were well fed before we left home.  We gave the behavior speech.  We let them bring toys.  I packed snacks in my bag.  We sat in the back.

 

For a long time I avoided going to Church altogether with the kids because it was just too much to handle.  Due to their disorders, (ADHD and Autism if you are new here), I could NOT leave them in Sunday School while I sat quietly in a different room.  I also could NOT bring them to the main service with me because they could NOT sit still or be quiet.

Making it through a Church service has not been an easy road for us.  We’ve had to leave after only being there for 10 minutes.  I have been known to leave Church services in tears.  We’ve been given plenty of mean looks.  I’ve had my kids crawl under pews and between peoples legs.  They’ve dipped their hands into the wine cup during communion.  They’ve gotten into arguments with other kids in the Sunday school room.

Yesterday, Ace only dropped one Lego piece which had to be retrieved from the floor two pews in front of us.  Jay excitedly waved his $1 in the air that he puts in the offering plate but so what?  Only one time did Ace ask, “How much longer?”  Jay ate Oreos.  They both shook hands during the greeting of the peace and before you know it, we were on our way home.

 

I think everyone would agree that it was a successful outing.

These things don’t happen by accident.  They happen because you keep pushing yourself.  You keep trying.  You keep growing and getting better – Sometimes very slowly.  You fail a few times (or most of the time) but you go back anyway.

 

There’s debate in school administration over whether to rate students based on their growth in an area or their proficiency on the topics.  I suppose it’s safe to say I am #TeamGrowth.

Proficiency, of course, is the goal, but we’ve got to recognize and celebrate every little bit of growth and use that growth as motivation to keep pushing us forward.

 

Jay Jay (Which is a title influenced by the Tom Tom GPS system. Hey, it is Throw Back Thursday) January 19, 2017

So, this is where I force myself to write about something palatable.  Otherwise known as, anything that doesn’t rhyme with Detsy TeDos.  (I am willing to have off the air conversations around that topic.)

 

Writing in general helps to calm my nerves and clear my mind so that’s what I am going to do today in the hopes that it will help.

Since I was kind of desperate for a topic, I initially set out yesterday to write about how I have made the decision to cut out french fries from my diet.  I love french fries.  Nothing goes better with a chicken sandwich or Chick-Fil-A nuggets than fries.  AmIright???  But deep fried carbs are not a particularly good idea for my hips.  I was even going to throw in that I have been forgoing the elevator at my job and climbing the three flights of stairs.  Baby steps people.  Baby steps.  I am no health nut or exercise enthusiast.

 

But then … Something happened this morning that I want to write about it.

Here’s what happened.

Usually Shaunie drops Jay off at his before school program.  I drop Ace.  (Well, I don’t drop him.  I drop him off at school)

Today, however, she didn’t have to go to work so I was responsible for dropping both kids.

As I was pulling around to where he usually gets delivered, Jay started telling me that I was not to go that way.

I ignored him and kept driving.

It was early and dark still and there were no other cars on that particular road and no real reason for me to follow the route that cars typically follow when there’s a trail of cars doing drop offs.  I MAY have gone “in” an “out” parking lot entrance because it’s easier.  Maybe.

So anyway, I assumed that’s what Jay was protesting.

He wouldn’t let it go.

No Mom. Don’t go that way. That is not the way. Go where the buses go. That is not right. You have to go the other way.  Nobody goes that way. You need to go another way.”

I parked, told him to get out the car – He was still protesting – And we walked to the door where …….. There was a big sign pinned up telling us that they had temporarily relocated to  a different area.  

We got back in the car and Jay basically said “I told you so.”

Then before I could say anything to defend my self – I’m not sure what I would have said but I don’t like to be wrong – He said “I will be your GPS.”

My son, who I didn’t even KNOW had not only *grown but was now *proficient in telling left from right proceeded to guide me to the correct location.

Turn right here.  Not this one.  Right.  Right.  Left.  Now stop.  This is where you take me.”

 

I was able to safely deliver my boy to his care takers and go on about my business and start my day feeling good about all the things that he learns that have nothing to do with me.  I drove off feeling incredibly grateful to all the teachers and therapists and aides who educate him in ways that I often am not acutely aware of.  I felt so happy that he is able to attend a wonderful local public school that is properly funded and whose Special Education dept is fully supported, where the laws around IDEA and FAPE are understood/enforced and whose teachers and principal think in creative ways and use innovative tools to cater their lessons to each students learning style because they truly want to see ALL OUR KIDS succeed.

 

 

If you understood what I did there then {high five}.