Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

Fun But Tiring Weekend September 25, 2017

It started out on Friday evening with me asking which game they wanted to play.  We decided on a thimble, a car, a cat and dog.  Yup, Monopoly.  It was our first time playing non-junior monopoly as a family and it was pretty good.  We had a couple moments of disagreement about whether something was legal or not and we had someone (NOT ME – lol) who was very gassy, but we laughed a lot which is always my favourite thing.  Jay needed some help with his money math but that was ok.  In the end, even though Ace and I kinda partnered up to take Shaunie and Jay down, those darn railroads did me in.  My last 3 rolls landed me on railroads and cost me $200 a pop.  In the end the Ace/Deenie team lost by about $400.

 

On Saturday we spent the morning hanging out at home and doing some cleaning and tidying.  We also, finally – after FOUR delivery attempts – got our full couch.  We’ve been living with half a couch for about a month because they keep coming with 2 of the same side.

At around 4pm, we arrived at 6 flags in Maryland.  Ace and I had a good time going on rides and Jay had a good time forcing Shaunie to go on rides.  (She’s not a ride lover).  We drove go karts and the kids and I did a bungee drop thing.  It was the first day of fright fest, and I expected it to be a little scary but it wasn’t at all.  If you wanted to be scared you have to pay more to go into the haunted houses.  We opted out because they said it’s not recommended for kids under 13.  In a couple years, we’ll try again.

We spent Saturday night with everyone’s fave – Aunty Juddles.  The adults stayed up till the early hours of the morning talking and laughing and it was nice.

 

On Sunday we attended my jobs annual Family Picnic.  They really did a great job of making it fun for the kids.  Rock wall and zorb ball and mechanical shark (instead of bull), petting zoo, pony rides, bouncy castles, gladiator battle zone, carnival games with prizes, face painting, ice-cream truck, snow cones, cotton candy … you name it.  For the adults, there was an open bar.

 

We got home at around 5 pm and by 7:30 everyone was ready for bed.  Shaunie and I managed to stay up long enough to watch one episode of a show.  It was good and we’re looking forward to watching another tonight.

 

And now, here we are.

Even though they went to bed so early, I still had to wake Ace up this morning.  As we were brushing teeth this morning getting ready for work, I said to Shaunie:  “Another early night for everyone tonight?”  She eagerly agreed.  That one night of decent sleep was not enough to adequately recuperate from the weekend.  But it was fun and definitely worth it!

 

How was your weekend?

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Open Letter To My Mothers Sister September 18, 2017

Filed under: Family,Marriage — The B Side @ 5:40 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

christian

 

Isn’t that sweet.

You, one of my mothers many sisters, posted that meme on Facebook and I assume you think it’s just lovely and makes you come across as having a good heart and not like a bigot.  You probably thinks it’s the perfect mix of compassion and religious integrity.  With all the talk of love and not judging and friendship and what not.  I mean really, how noble and Christ-like of you to not stand by while we get bullied.

 

I have questions though.

What does “not supporting homosexual marriagemean?  What does “standing up for your beliefs” look like?  Does it mean you would vote “NO” to make it legal?  Does it simply mean that you would not attend a homosexual wedding?  Does it mean that you would teach your children that someone else’s marriage is less valid or is inferior somehow?   Would you allow your children to spend extended time with their cousins who are children of a homosexual marriage?  Would my wife and I not be welcome in your home?  I just wanna know.  Because you see, with all your talk of still being a friend while you “stand up for your beliefs” you are probably being a hypocrite.  You, as a Catholic, happen to follow a sector of a religion that does allow pork eating (which I think is fine) – Never mind that there are parts of the bible that prohibit that – But that’s not my point here.  I’m not trying to influence which parts of the bible you decide are worth ignoring and which are not.  Choose any parts you want to.  Just as 7th Day Adventists can choose to focus on the parts that say pigs are unclean (which I also think is fine).  As individuals people should be able to choose what they want to eat without the government intervening and without other people putting themselves in a position of power over their rights based on personal religious beliefs.

 

If you don’t want to socialize with a gay couple I’m actually ok with that.  Well, I think it’s dumb, so I’m not necessarily ok with it but I accept that it’s your prerogative.  If you want to shelter your children from their lesbian Aunt and her children that’s totally up to you.  Would you disown your own son if he told you he was gay and wanted to get married?  You could.  That would be your choice to make.  It would be sad and unfortunate; but it would be your choice.

 

If you think homosexual marriage should be illegal though – that’s a problem.  Believe whatever you want, just don’t impose those beliefs on everyone else.  What gives you the right to put yourself in such a lofty position as to decide if it’s alright for another person to get married or not in the first place?  It’s no different from white people in 1787 deciding that black people should only be counted as 3/5 of a person when determining political representation.

 

It’s not ok to make laws for everyone based on religious beliefs of some.  Or is it?  Would it be right for 7th Day Adventists to make bacon illegal in an entire country and would it be ok for Jehovah’s Witnesses to make it illegal for women, anywhere, to hold any positions of power?

 

How about for you as a proud Catholic with the alter boy son, to make it illegal for men of all religions to get married because you don’t believe your own priests should marry? If there was a way to make pre-marital sex illegal and punishable by law, would that be acceptable?  Wait a second, should divorce be illegal?  I’m pretty sure that’s against your Church rules.  (Rocks and glass houses and all that).  Would it be the right of the government to force the children of non-married people to live with other married family members or in a group home because their biological parents have been sent to prison for breaking the law?  And what about birth control?  Should condoms and pills be illegal?  I’m just asking.

 

How do you feel about womens rights in strict Muslim countries?  I suppose it’s fine with you that Saudi women aren’t allowed to drive and that their girls cannot go to school and that the women are forced to wear bourkas.  I mean, after all, their religion tells them that’s how it should be.

 

If there was such a country where most of the law makers were Scientologists, should they and Tom Cruise cause all psychiatrists to lose their jobs and should all medication that treats mental illnesses be outlawed even for the Christians of said country?  Should it be forced upon all people, in a country led by Mormons, that they “go forth preaching the gospel, two by two” because that’s the law as laid out in the Book of Mormon  (D&C Section 42: 6)?  Or, instead of asking about missionary work, should I ask about the Mormon law which at one point argued for legalized slavery saying God ordained it or the one that forbade mixed-race couples saying blackness was a curse brought down on us as the seeds of Cain?  In The Book of Mormon, it literally says, God inflicts a curse of dark skin on the Lamanites when they disobey him and they become white and delightsome when they obey him.  How could the entire world not agree to and stick to this?  God himself commanded it.  God himself banned black people from voting or holding public office.  How did we allow Obama (who you support) to become President?

 

In the Jewish Torah it says that all males should be circumcised and that a widow whose husband died childless must not be married to anyone but her deceased husband’s brother.

 

Or are laws and restrictions based on religious views, only allowed if they align with YOUR religion?  With YOUR holy book?

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to trick you or back you into a corner, or even convince you of anything.  I am not saying your religion, or any other religion, is bad.  I am not knocking anyones beliefs by drawing attention to them here.  I go to Church sometimes too.  I just want to know, specifically, what your beliefs are.  I want to know about things that don’t fit nicely into your cute little meme.  Maybe saying “I don’t support” is just your way of saying that when you pray, you pray for God to heal me and my sinning heart.  Or for God to have mercy on my soul when I die.  That actually wouldn’t offend me at all.  Pray away.

 

I hope you don’t mind all my questions.  You put the meme out there so I feel like it’s fair game for me to ask you about it.  So, don’t be vague.  Tell me where exactly you stand and IF you believe that because of the Church you attend, that qualifies you to infringe upon my rights?

What you say will tell me a lot about who you are and if I want to be a part of your life or not.

 

With Respect,

Your big sisters oldest daughter

 

Phone Calls September 6, 2017

Last week Thursday I got a phone call.

It was not a call that I wanted to receive.

My Aunt had been hospitalized.

I was sad and worried – But mostly concerned about her and her comfort.

I spent the weekend either calling or anxiously waiting to receive a call to get updates.

Good news! – She was treated and released.

I am still worrying because I know she will not follow the doctors orders to relax.  It’s not who she is.

It’s hard being an immigrant and living in a different country from your loved ones and not having easy access to help them.

 

Last week Friday I got a phone call.

It was not a call that I anticipated.

The boys step mom was in the hospital – Getting ready to have her babies.

That call altered/canceled any plans we had.

We had to go pick my boys up late at night and prepare a bed for them.

I got to see them sooner than I expected which made my heart happy.

Good news! – Everyone is doing well and my sons now have twin sisters which they are very excited about.

The new mom is an immigrant and all her family live in another country.  I’m sure that’s not easy for her.  I hope she gets the support she will need; one way or the other.

 

Last Sunday I made a call that I did not want to make.  911.

Shaunies Grandma needed to be taken to the hospital.

We were scared and worried.

We had to cancel plans to attend an engagement party/bbq for good friends and instead spent the weekend making sure that she was as comfortable as possible.

Good news! – She was treated and released.

We still worry because she’s home alone quite often and is not good about letting someone know when she’s not feeling well.

If necessary we are only a 4 1/2 hour drive away.

“Only” is relative when it’s your Grandma who you love more than anything and she needs you.

 

Last Sunday was Ace’s birthday.

We made the best of it – Even though much of it was spent at a hospital – And we had to cancel plans for him to see Nanas.

Shaunie brought home a cake just as the kids were going to bed but they were allowed to stay up and have some.

We made a plan to take him to an amusement park.  His choice of an activity.

He received calls and messages from family and friends near and far.

He received more cash gifts than ever before and more gifts yet are on their way.

I expected him to hear from all the people who should love him – and he did hear from most – but there was one phone call that never came.  That message was received loud and clear.

I am disappointed but he’s fine.  He knows who his family is and that it often has nothing to do with blood.

 

The Good (?) Part About Moving July 26, 2017

Filed under: ADHD,Autism,Family,Special Needs Kids — The B Side @ 11:22 am
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If there is a good part about moving, it’s this:  Finding lost treasures as you sort through, throw away, pack up.

 

I was actually going to get Ace’s birth certificate (to renew his passport) when I saw a plastic bag overflowing with papers.

Well, I thought, I might as well go through this mess and get rid of whatever junk I can.  There’s no point in bringing it to the new place.

I got to work – And along with a trash can full of stuff that I threw away, I also found a CD of pictures from my bestie’s wedding.  They’re about to celebrate their 14th anniversary so:  a) Pictures on disc were a thing back then and b) I was skinny and there are pictures of me in a bikini in which I don’t look half bad (if I do say so myself).

 

I found lots of evaluation paperwork and school reports from when Jay was 4 to 6 years old.  Back then, he was still getting “N” – Not Yet Mastered – in areas like “Writes Recognizable Letters” and “Counts from 1 – 20” and “Names Shapes” and “Identifies Body Parts”.

There were also communication logs from one of his stints in a social skills therapy group.

 

Jay was calm upon coming to the office but resists being guided.  He has begun to follow my finger pointing.”  Oct 2, 2012

Jay is very easily distracted and has difficulty regulating and getting into engagement.  He responds to his inner sensations and not outside relationships.  He is now tolerating spinning on the board and being pushed on the swing a lot better.  He did some cutting and played with putty.”  Oct 9, 2012

 

Oh sweet boy, you’ve worked so hard and I am so impressed with where you are today.  You had to learn how to tolerate spinning and swinging?  Now you beg us to take you to the “big amusement park” so you can get on the big roller coaster.  I can’t wait to see what 4th grade will bring.  I’m not nervous at all.  Just excited.  Amazing right?

 

Then there were the folders from Ace’s 1st and 2nd grade classrooms with his work in them.

In first grade, the kids were encouraged to keep a diary and write down at least one thing each day.

 

Oct 12, 2012My babae brin a pumpkin.

(I have no idea who babae is.  Wish I did.)

Oct 15, 2012why can we have a outside lunch or an art lunch. Why!

Oct 18, 1012I,m gowen to korf my pumpkin.

Jan 15, 2013I have a Bumbol Bee Transformr. I have a lagow areplan.

Mar 13, 2013I am gowing to get a bowinaroo.   I am going to the srkis.

June 20, 2013I can welcome new neighbors by saiding hellow.  I will might discover that they frendly.

 

Then on the first day of second grade there was this letter.

Dear 2nd Grade teacher,

Hi I am Ace.

I am exsidid.

I am looking forward to have fun.

What dos 2nd grade look like.

 

Love,

Ace

 

Now he’s about to start middle school and in case anyone was wondering, his spelling has come a LONG way 🙂

 

Moving is a pain in the butt, but going through all these papers was actually fun.

 

Sneak Peak July 18, 2017

We’ve had a teenager staying with us for a couple of weeks now and let me just say that it was a shake up.

 

First of all, she’s a “she” which is quite different from having 2 “he’s”.   Hers is a world of making matching tie-dye bandanas with her best friend and taking selfies showing off her various hair styles.  It’s a world of nail polish and emoji’s and the mall.

 

She’s 14 so she’s not a kid, but she’s also not an adult.  It’s a fine line to walk for both her and us.

Even though she’s on vacation, we are still who we are so she has chores and the tutor who comes (yes, even during the summer) to work with our boys has been helping her also.

 

We monitor social media posts to make sure they are age appropriate and try to find the sweet spot between outfits that are cute and trendy but not too “grown”.  We still have to tell her to clean up her room – all while talking about crushes and suicide and drugs and abortions and STD’s*.

One minute we are in the throws of peer pressure to smoke and the next thing you know we are painting toe nails and singing songs from High School Musical and drinking strawberry milk.

 

Being a teenager hasn’t changed.  When she writes, she decorates her pages with hearts and the dots over her i’s are big circles (to look cute).

Yet, teenagers nowadays are living a totally different existence than the one I lived.  It’s scary.  They have too much access to things they are not mentally equipped to handle.  There is so much pressure to be raunchy.  Thanks to the few who have turned bad publicity into lucrative careers, things that my friends and I would have thought were scandalous have become “goals”.

 

Her time with us is coming to an end.  I will miss her a lot and I’m sure the boys will too.  It’s been a joy seeing her have fun and experience new things.

We’ve laughed a lot.  In addition to Fun Land and the river, we’ve played board games and Uno and been to a water park.  Shaunie and I were even able to go on a mid-week date since we had a babysitter.  She’s been VERY tolerant of Ace and all his talking and she’s been completely unphased by Jay and his moods.  Her and the boys have developed a relationship where they trust her and love hanging out with her while they watch TV, but they fight over who has to sit in the middle seat in the car.

The 3 of them ganged up on Shaunie to tease her about being scared to go down the big slide and they really get a kick out of it any time her and I make fun of each other.

 

Having 3 kids means more.  More fun and more laughs and more hugs and more “I love you’s”, but also more money and more mess and more tiredness.  Kudos to you guys who have 3 or more kids.  It’s a JOB.

Taking it all into consideration though, she’d be welcome back at any time.

 

We are on the cusp of having full time teenagers and I can only imagine what things will be like when my boys get to be the age she is now.  Based on what we saw over the past 2 weeks with regards to the topics of conversation, I’d love to think that it is far away but the fact is that it is less than 3 years away.

Having her has been …. eye-opening, and interesting, and scary, and helpful, and heart stopping, and a breath of fresh air, and tiring, and a treat.

 

 

 

*We are Aunts so I think that makes it easier for her to open up to us about certain things than with her mom and yes, we tell the mom everything that we think is even remotely concerning.
 

Pride Month Reflections – With some religion and general life stuff thrown in there. June 28, 2017

Very often, life is incredibly beautiful.  Very often, life is incredibly difficult.  Just as often, both of those things are happening at the same exact time.

If you are lucky enough to find someone who makes the beautiful moments even more so and the difficult times somewhat bearable, then hold onto them with both hands.  If you find someone who you love and who in turn loves you and is as committed to you and your happiness/success/well-being as they are to their own, then cherish them.  Don’t let them go.  Certainly don’t let them go because of what other people think.

Find your real people.  The ones who willingly share your burdens.  The ones  who make you laugh and who comfort you and who are good influences on your children and who bend over backwards for you.  The ones who welcome you with wide open arms and want nothing more than for you to be happy.

Ignore the ones who do not make any effort for you.  The ones who make excuses and who don’t show any concern and who forget important dates and who obviously don’t care about your feelings or appreciate your time/sacrifices.  The ones who talk about you but not to you.  The ones who add nothing of substance but would have you live by their rules.  The people who are happy living in their own sin but who would judge you for your perceived transgressions.  No matter what their titles are, those are not your people and you do not need them.  Life is hard enough without them adding to it.

At the end of the day, there’s no use pretending to be someone you are not.  There’s no point in being lonely and no reward for being unhappy.  There is no prize for leaving yourself unfulfilled in order to please people who should be focusing their energy on other, more worthwhile, ventures.

 

 

I am no different than anyone else.

My life has had a lot of very difficult moments.   My life has had a lot of very beautiful moments.

I have truly amazing friends who have been there with me and stood by me through it all.  I have found romantic love and lost romantic love.  I am in love now – And I couldn’t ask her to love me (or my boys) any better.

I cannot imagine doing life without these people.  I would not want to imagine it.

 

But, there are those who would attack us with their religious speeches.  The ones who would deny my wife and I our happiness/rights and deny my children an awesome parent.  The re-married “adulterous” divorcees who quote one verse of the Bible to justify their anger/hatred/fear of gay people, but happily disregard the parts that say women should be silent in church and keep their heads covered or that shrimp is an abomination or that allows for incest and polygamy and slavery and that speaks of women as property for fathers to give away and for men to own/pass from brother to brother.

A few months ago they were posting about “Black Lives Matter” but now that it’s June they are posting about being “Straight and Proud”.  They don’t see that proclaiming Straight Pride is the same as proclaiming All Lives Matter.

These same people, with their holier than thou attitudes when it comes to homosexuality, have no problem with other forms of supposed sexual immorality.  They have no problem getting drunk on a regular basis or not tything or touching a menstruating woman.  Others remain silent when their friends spew racism and the worst of them condone men in their family who have molested children.  They welcome these sick bastards into their homes and they smile with them and wish them a happy fathers day.

 

I am not here to bash the Bible or religion or church goers.  I am bashing the hypocrisy.  I am bashing the picking and choosing of which Bible verses to pay attention to and make a big deal out of.  I believe the Bible can and should be used as a tool for good.  It should not be used as a weapon.  I believe there are a lot of benefits to having a church family.  I also believe it’s not possible to take everything the Bible says (in both the old and new testament) literally.

I believe at the end of the day, Jesus was about love.  Jesus was about protecting children and healing the sick and befriending the outcast.

When He gave His sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7), He talked about anger issues and lust (for another mans woman) and divorce and making promises and retaliation and loving your enemies and giving to the needy and fasting and anxiety and judging others and He taught people how to pray.

 

Do good.

Forgive.

Be Honest.

Help Others.

Love!

These are the things He preached about.

 

Shaunie and I didn’t attend any Pride events this month as it wasn’t convenient this time around.  We were busy living our lives.  Paying our taxes.  Pumping our gas.  Watching kid friendly movies.  Going to the dentist.  Hanging out with friends and hosting Grandma.   That’s not to say I don’t fully support them though.  I do.  I understand the desire to celebrate with and to be surrounded by other LGBT+ people.  I am 100% on board with activism and I think it’s totally ridiculous that laws get enacted based on the religious beliefs of some.

 

Life is hard enough without us imposing additional and unnecessary burdens on each other.  We should let people feel comfortable enough to find their true love; whoever that may be and whatever body parts that person may have.  Let people adopt children and give them a good home no matter the gender make-up of the household.  Provide a safe learning environment for all students regardless of their gender expression.  Stand up to bullies in every form.  Ban work place and/or healthcare discrimination based on sexual orientation.

 

To everyone I say, I don’t have all the answers to all the questions.  None of us do.  But I do know it is NOT our job to make things harder.  It’s just not.  It IS our job to make getting through this damn difficult thing called life as happy as possible for as many people as possible.   It IS our job to leave the world a better and safer place for the next generation.

To my fellow LGBT+ people, in addition to the above I say, keep your head up.  Be proud.  Be open.  Don’t give up the fight for equality.  Handle your personal business.  Live your truth and let your light – and rainbow – shine!

 

images

 

According to Ace June 21, 2017

If all goes well, courtesy of their father and step-mother, the boys will be the big brothers to twin sisters early in the fall.  The other day, Ace was talking about it and said “I hope the twins don’t get autism.”

I understood that he probably had a good reason for what he said but I didn’t like that he said it in front of Jay and explained to him that we never want Jay to feel as though something is wrong with him or that we don’t love him for exactly who he is.

It gave me the idea though that I wanted to interview Ace.  I wanted to give him a chance to talk without feeling the need to sugar coat or censor anything.  Our interview is posted below (with his permission) as well as a couple of notes by me.  His answers are in bold and my notes are in small print.   (If the formatting acts right.  It’s looking weird on my screen.)  Also, I selected the punctuation to try and reflect the way he spoke as accurately as possible.

 

 

What’s your name and how old are you?

*Ace.  I’m 10 years old.

 

What’s your brothers name and how old is he?

Jay and he’s 9.

 

What kind of things do you do for fun?

*smiling*

I’ve never been an interviewer before. 

 

Interviewee.  Remember there are no wrong or right answers.  I want you to be completely honest.  OK?  So, now, what kind of things do you do for fun?

 Sometimes I watch videos or play video games.  I also like to build Legos and on occasion, I read for fun. 

(I love that he said “on occasion”.  It sounded so grown up. )

 

What kind of things does your brother do for fun?

He likes to watch videos.  Right now, mostly Garfield episodes and then he makes them in book form.  He also plays Roblox.

 

What do you guys enjoy doing together?

*Long pause*

We play with Legos or other toys.  Like animal toys.  And we act out our own stories.

 

What have you taught your brother?

That’s a hard one.  I can’t really think of anything.  I did help him to get better at speaking.  Like, I correct his language when he says things the wrong way.

 

What has your brother taught you?

He tried to help me to get better at drawing but I’m just horrible.

 

What kinds of things are hard to do with your brother and why do you think they are hard?

It’s hard for him to speak properly and to not get angry over silly things.  It’s because he’s autistic and his brain has a hard time knowing what to get angry about and knowing how to focus on what to say and how to say it correctly.

 

What can you tell me about autism?

I know kids with autism are really smart but they have problems showing it.  He’ll get better when he’s older.  He’ll still have it but he’ll know how to control it.

 

Can you think of a time you felt really proud of your brother?

Yes actually!  Whenever he tries new foods and when he completed his first book that he wrote I was really impressed.  It was really good.

Also, when other kids compliment him and his drawing I feel really proud of him.

 

Does your brother ever embarrass or frustrate you? If yes, how do you handle it?

No.  Well … kind of, sometimes.  When he gets angry and other kids talk about him it’s kind of embarrassing.  I don’t say anything.  I try to ignore it.  Now, it’s not so bad though and he gets over it really quick. 

 

Is there anything your family hasn’t been able to do or it’s been harder because of your brother?

I can’t remember where we were going but he got angry and started making the trip miserable so we turned around and didn’t go.  Also, sometimes we leave places early because he’s getting mad and making it miserable for everyone.

 

Do you feel like you get less attention than your brother?

No.  I feel like we get equal amount.

 

Do you feel like you each get enough individual attention from your parents?

Yes.  You do a good job.  Don’t change a thing.

(That was nice to hear because it’s one of the things I have long worried about.)

 

Do you ever talk to your friends about having a brother with autism?

Yes.  No mean things.  But like when we are at camp and other kids talk about how it’s not fair that he gets better food than us so I tell them that he has a doctors note and I try to explain to them and defend him.  Or if he’s throwing a tantrum and kids say something I tell them he’s autistic.

 

Do you have any friends that also have a brother or sister with autism?

No.  One time after I was talking about Jay, one kid told me that I would get along well with his sister but I don’t know why he said that. 

 

What can parents do to help siblings understand autism?

I think parents should be open and they should talk about things and explain why things are happening and what to do about it.  Like in case you can help.  Depending on the sibling I think they don’t mind helping. 

 

How can parents encourage more positive interaction between their children?

I don’t know.  I think we have a positive relationship.

 

How can parents deal with resentment and competition from siblings?  Do you understand that question?

Yes, I understand but I don’t know.  I don’t feel any of that.

 

If you put yourself in your brother’s shoes, what do you think he would say about you?

That’s a hard one.  I think he would understand how I feel and he would try to help me as well.  He would say I’m a good brother even though I am only nice sometimes. 

 

Do you worry about what will happen to your brother when you guys get older?

No.  Not really.  I believe in him.

(I LOVED the words “I believe in him”). 

 

Do you think he will become your responsibility and you will have to take care of him when he’s older?

No.  I think he will get a job and be able to live in his own house.

 

What’s the best thing about having Jay as a brother?

*LONG pause*

I’m not saying there’s no best thing. 

*Smiling/Giggling*

He is easy to tease and to have fun with.  Like, I can show him what to do and he will do it.

 

What’s the hardest thing about having Jay as a brother?

Dealing with his anger issues.  For sure.

 

What are the best and worst things about having you as a brother?

Having a brother who respects him.  But having a brother who bosses him around.  Like, I will tell him “take your feet off the chair” and like that.  I talk to him like he’s only 5 years old and I will do the counting thing like “One, two … “ when he’s not doing what he’s supposed to do.   

 

Is there anything else you’d like to say that I haven’t asked you?

You only asked me about autism.  I want to say that having ADHD is hard.  I get distracted easily and sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep and I fall asleep late but then I am tired the next day. 

 

Is there anything else we can do to help you that we are not already doing?

No.  I feel like you know it’s hard and you understand what it feels like for me.  We have a lot of fun and even when you are hard on me I understand why even if I don’t like it.

 

Anything else you’d like to say?  Would it be ok if I interviewed you again some other time?  Maybe in another year or so?

Oh yes!!!  Maybe you can interview me and ask me what it’s like to have twin sisters.

 

*Both of us laughing*

Sounds like a plan.  Thank you for doing this.