Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

My Wish April 2, 2019

One of the things that I often tell my children is how important it is to choose good friends and to be a good friend.

I know for now they don’t “get it”; but I hope that my repeated focus on it, seeps into their DNA and sticks.  My friendships are and have been a critical factor in my ability to get through life in any sort of graceful or healthy way.

 

A couple of weeks ago, we had one of our first really nice weather days since the start of Spring.  Ace, Jay and another friend were outside playing.  The boys wanted to bring their Nerf guns outside to have “an epic war”.  Ace asked because we’ve had “the talk” with him.  That one that the parents of white children don’t have to have.  The one where the rest of us have to tell our black sons about racial bias and perceptions.  The one where we have to warn them to be careful because they may not be assumed to be innocent children playing games.  If any of you doubt the truth of that statement please let me know.  I’ll point you towards some stories.  They are plentiful.

 

Below is a conversation I had with someone who has been a very dear friend to me for 25 years.  We mostly joke around, tease each other and share funny meme’s back and forth, but I knew that if I shared something that was in my heart, he’d step up – and boy did he deliver.

(Me: Right aligned ; Him: Left aligned)

 

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I hadn’t mentioned it in my texts, but in addition to Tamir, I was also thinking about the shooting of Charles Kinsey.  Kinsey was taking care of an autistic man when he was shot by police, while lying on the ground with his arms in the air; his disabled client was sitting next to him.

 

Any time my boys step out into the world they each face dangers beyond what many other boys face.  Watching them grow up and become more and more independent is too wonderful to explain.  I marvel at them.  But, I worry about them.

Their blackness isn’t ever going away.

Ace’s ADHD and associated poor impulse control or social awkwardness isn’t going away.

Jays autism isn’t ever going away. 

Those things unfairly put them at risk – YET – there are times when I must let them face the fire.  I can’t let them see all MY fear.  I do want them to be careful.  I do NOT want them to live fearfully.

 

My friend wished for his loved ones “Time, health and courage.”  Those are great, but I think my main wish for my boys and all my loved ones: To have people in your life with whom you can be real and honest and true and loved anyway.

We can make all the money, or plans, or take all the precautions in the world, but in the end the only thing we can be sure of – when the chips fall – is our own truths and the honesty with which we lived our own lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s A Birthday January 10, 2019

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(Cuphead, pictured above, is Jays current fave video game)

 

 

Jay was 3 years old when I began blogging.  He turns 11 today.  Crazy right?

What a wild 8 years it’s been.

There’s so much material I could pull from if I wanted to reflect on how far he’s come.

 

I will instead focus on just 2 pieces of info.

Last week Ace and he had doctor appointments.  Even though he is 16 months younger and about 2 inches shorter, at 70 lbs, Jay now outweighs his brother by 3 lbs.  He’s not overweight at all but we now frequently have to deny his requests to eat MORE (because we know he’s full) and we sometimes have to hide snacks so he doesn’t inhale them all leaving none for his lunch box at the end of the week.  We also had to put restrictions on his school lunch account because he was really over doing it with the giant chocolate muffins they have there.

It is a JOY for me to write that.

You guys KNOW how much of a struggle it was getting him to eat.  You know he used to eat literally NOTHING but cheese doodles.  You know we were so concerned about his nutrition that we had blood work done on him twice in 3 years and tried to take him to an eating disorder clinic but we were denied coverage.  It was a S.T.R.U.G.G.L.E.

He has become a kid who eats chicken and rice, tacos, fish, pizza, lasagna, hamburgers with ketchup, bacon, pancakes, beans, carrots and a long list of other items.  He willingly tries new things on a regular basis.  It’s thoroughly amazing!

 

Two days ago he said to me:

Mom, my birthday is coming up and I know I had asked for a *Robux gift card but I don’t need it anymore.  I got one for Christmas and there’s still $4 left on it.”

That’s him.  He’s not the one to take advantage just because he can.

 

He did ask for something though.  He wanted to bring cupcakes to school for his classmates.  As he put it:  “This is the last chance I have.  I can’t bring cupcakes in middle school.”

 

He’s still getting more Robux and yes, he’s absolutely getting cupcakes at school – and then whatever he wants for dinner.

Happy Birthday my sweet, funny, sometimes snarky, affectionate, talented, stylish, handsome, love bug of a son.  You are a wonder.  It has been and continues to be the joy of my heart to watch you grow.

 

 

 

 

[If you are new to my blog and want to get a feel for how drastic Jays progress has been over the years in other areas, I suggest you read this post from 5 years ago.]

 

*Roblox is a video game that he plays and Robux is money you can use only in that game to enhance your experience.

 

Perfectly Imperfect Holidays January 2, 2019

So how was everyone’s Christmas?

I know it’s January now and people are talking about New Year resolutions and the like, but I have some catching up to do.

 

Our Christmas did not go the way we had planned. Does that mean it was good or bad? Continue reading to see.

 

On Saturday, December 22nd, we had tickets to see a play. It was to be a cute show; geared towards kids; about Santa and his elves. Everyone was up, fed, dressed and in the car on time. Then we hit traffic on I-95. Not just any old traffic. Major, not-moving, all the roads including side roads were jam packed traffic. The GPS initially said we’d be 10 mins late to the show. “OK”, we thought, “that’s not so bad”. Fifteen minutes later, it climbed to us being 20 minutes late and forty minutes later when we were not even half way there yet, the GPS said we would be 35 minutes late.

The show was not going to happen. Ugh!

We were disappointed about the wasted money but more so about missing out on the event that we thought would kick-start our feel good family Christmas weekend. The kids took it in stride. They said it was fine and that we shouldn’t worry about it and suggested we go to the movies. So we did. We even splurged on movie theatre snacks which you know is a treat because they are not cheap. We watched Bumblebee and everyone thought it was good. (The kids mostly). Yay!

Following the movie we made a stop at the cell phone store to see what options he had because the day before Ace had dropped his in the toilet. Ugh! FYI – It turns out that putting your phone in rice for a couple of days really does work!!! Yay!

The next stop was a Jamaican restaurant that we patronize when we’re in the area. I made a comment that was just meant to be funny but it led to us being gifted a bottle of sorrel – which really was very good. Yay!

All in all, even though it wasn’t the day we planned, it turned out pretty good.

 

On Sunday, we had plans to go horse-back riding. Once again, everyone was up, fed, dressed and in the car on time. As soon as we pulled out of the drive way, we got a call saying we needed to reschedule because the area was too wet/muddy due to all the recent rain. Ugh!

We spent the entire day being lazy. I mean, there was some light tidying up, but besides that we watched lots of TV, including a Christmas movie. We watched A Christmas Story – the one with the “leg lamp”.  I had never seen it before which apparently is blasphemous.  The kids were excited because it was Christmas Eve Eve which was cute. It’s such a great feeling seeing them be happy. The day may have been totally different than planned but it turned out pretty good.

 

 

To be honest, that’s kind of how the entire holiday week went. Things not going according to plan, but then being imperfectly perfect just the same.

Even our New Years Eve plan didn’t work out.  I had bought us tickets to an event which ended up being cancelled on Dec 28th.  My money was refunded and Shaunie and I spent the day/night reading and eating left overs and generally having the best time at home just relaxing.  At 10 pm on New Years Eve we both said how glad we were that our event had been cancelled.  I made it to 12:05 or something like that.

 

Ultimately, over the past week or so, we went to Church and spent time with many loved ones and yes, Santa was good to us.  We did make it to 2 shows.  The Harlem Globetrotters on Dec 26th and on Dec 30th we saw Hip Hop Nutcracker.  It was a really lovely way to end 2018.

All that’s left is to send everyone lots of well wishes for a happy and healthy 2019.

xoxo Deens.

 

No Holiday Stress Over Here December 20, 2018

A couple of school concerts

FINALLY getting the kids passport applications done and mailed

Mailing off the only Christmas gift I had that needed mailing

Receiving our annual Christmas cake from my Aunt in Jamaica

Already eating ALL of the annual Christmas cake we got in the mail from my Aunt in Jamaica

Making an ugly Christmas sweater

Indulging in Spirit Week at each kids school – (Every day there’s a theme they have to dress like)

Finding (too large to match the rest of the display) plastic toy animals mixed in with my African wicker nativity scene

Watching a 1970’s Christmas movie

Getting to the end of a really good book – And then starting another

Sleeping in

Deciding to stay home and be lazy all weekend

But then …

Going to Church and really appreciating the spirit/vibe/nature of the Church we attend

Eating out (aka not cooking) both on Saturday and Sunday

Finishing a knitting project that’s been languishing

Getting new (bigger for a bigger project) knitting needles and new yarn

Going to the mall to do some shopping for an older family friend

Falling in love with a new Bath and Body Works scent

Getting a quick 20 minute massage

Wondering if I should go back and get more of that same scent so I have extra in case they discontinue it

Getting roped into a work holiday pot luck lunch; complete with ugly Christmas sweater and gift exchange

Finalizing some plans for trips we’re taking early next year

RELAXING

 

 

Just some of the things that’s been happening since my last post on Dec 11th.

This was a no frills post because I’m in a take it easy mood at this point.

Really hope you guys are not all stressed out.

 

Breathe In. Breathe Out. Close Your Eyes. Listen To Music. Read A Book. Take A Walk. Do The Thing That Relaxes You.

 

A Life Appreciation Post December 11, 2018

We are not big on the kids sleeping over at friends houses – if we don’t know the family well. That said … Jay got invited to a sleepover to celebrate one of his school friends birthday. My initial thought was no. But my mind kept drifting back to … well, maybe.

Having good friends is huge. For many autistic people, having any friends is huge. I mean, just yesterday the mom of a popular facebook page posted the foll:

 

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(As you can probably assume, her son Greyson is non-verbal and uses a device to communicate.)

 

I had met the mom issuing the sleepover invite before. She seemed very nice each time. As Jamaican people would say “mi spirit did tek to her”. Jay had been invited to and had attended that same kids birthday party last year so this is not a brand new friendship.

After talking to the mom 1 more time and asking questions like “which other kids that we know will be there and *do you have a gun in your house?”, we agreed to let him go. He was so excited about it and the other kids were excited to see him when we showed up – that made it easier for me to walk away after the drop off. I want this for my son. I want him to have friends and to be included.

 

*~*

 

For the first time – I think ever – Ace had Shaunie and I to himself for an entire evening and night. He’d been asking to go to a Hibachi restaurant but since we knew Jay wouldn’t eat any of the food there it hadn’t happened. This was our chance. We didn’t tell him where we were going and to see his face light up once the realization hit was awesome. The evening did not disappoint. From the initial giant flame to clean the stove area, to the flaming onion volcano to the catching of the food in your mouth to the fake egg being thrown at him. He loved it all. And I loved watching him love it all. He tried the miso soup and said it was good. He did not eat any of the salad but … are you ready?… he ate a piece of zucchini AND a mushroom. Of both he said “It was ok but I don’t want anymore.” He did like the rice and although he had chosen to order steak, he said the best part was the complimentary 3 pieces of shrimp he got. Neither of those meats are things he typically eats.

I was just so proud of him. I want this for my son. I want him to have a wide variety of experiences and to know that even though sometimes his wants are not immediately do-able, when we can, we will do, just for him.

Following the hibachi dinner, at Ace’s request, we browsed Barnes and Noble where we each got a new book.

 

*~*

 

The next day we picked Jay up and heard rave reviews from him about how much fun he and the other boys had. He didn’t even want to come home. [Well, hurt my feelings won’t ya 🙂 ] The mom told us how pleasant of a kid Jay is and how polite and how much of a gentleman. It made me feel so good. I know I say this all the time, but truly – I NEVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED THIS WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER. It’s the most wonderful thing to witness.

 

After we got home it began snowing so we spent the day reading books and baking and playing in snow and finally settled down in front of the TV to watch Christmas Chronicles (a new holiday movie on Netflix). As I sat there, cuddled with my 2 boys under a blanket, listening to them laugh and seeing Shaunie in her spot on the other side of the couch, also under a blanket, the fireplace lit, the Christmas tree lit and already overflowing with presents, the snow falling outside, I had a moment of total and complete contentment. Despite a whole lot of crazy and hectic and worry, we have such a good life and I am so blessed.  I don’t take any of it for granted.

 

 

 

 

*If she did own a gun, I’d’ve had follow up questions about the storage of said gun.  I mean, you can’t be too careful with 7 boys ages 10 and 11 running around.

 

It’s Been A While – A Meltdown Story December 4, 2018

Sometimes an old emotion that you had packed away neatly finds its way out of the dusty bin and settles once again in your heart. When that happens, it doesn’t feel like a long-lost friend. It feels like an intruder; one you don’t care for but have to accommodate nonetheless. It’s an intruder that you know well, so even though you don’t want them there, you don’t freak out when they show up, you just do what needs to be done so they can be sent away again.

 

The morning started off like most other mornings. Alarms go off. People get themselves ready for the day. For some it’s school; others work. There’s a little chit-chat. Well, less “chit-chat” and more “requests” – Can I have money for the book fair? Do I really need to go to choir practice? Can you make me some tea please? Can I sit in the front seat?

No. Yes. No and no.

 

Things took a turn when Jay and I got to the door of his school and he realized he had left his glasses at home. For the first time in a long time I saw the swirling torrent of a melt-down heading our way. I tried to get ahead of it. I spoke calmly. I offered to bring his glasses for him at lunch time. He would not hear any of it. His mind had already gone to a place that blocks out reason. A before-care staff member came and tried to assist. At this point we are blocking the door. Through stiff, clipped words and with his entire body shaking, Jay told him that he couldn’t go inside because the other kids would make fun of him. (I’m not sure why he thought that). The staff member said all the right things. “I’m sure that won’t happen. But if it does, you come to me and I’ll deal with it.” None of that appeared to register with Jay.

Just then, a teacher, who I didn’t know, but who obviously knew Jay came in. She suggested that he go to see Ms F and take a minute in her room to calm himself. (Ms F is the autism resource teacher who was our lifeline during his transition to this school 3 years ago and who Jay loves but no longer really gets to spend much time with since he’s fully mainstreamed now).

The teacher sent me on my way, told me that everything would be fine and assured me that they would call if necessary.

 

We hadn’t had a school drop off like that in YEARS. I got to work still a little raw from it. Mostly I was worried that this rough start to the day would mean a rough ALL DAY for Jay and by extension, all the other students and teachers he had to interact with. Throughout the day, I kept expecting my phone to ring.

Nothing.

I didn’t have much appetite and it took a lot of energy to focus on my actual work.

When I picked him up, he came bounding up to me with a big smile. I asked him how his day had been and he said it was great. Gingerly, I asked him about the morning. Specifically, I asked him what happened when he went to Ms F’s classroom.

 

I don’t know how they do it, but special education teachers are magical. At least, the ones we’ve had. I cannot overstate how much they have taught me or how much I respect them.

Ms F apparently gave him a quiet spot to sit for a minute. Then she asked him what was making him so upset. Then she took her glasses off and put them in a bag and told him that they would be the “no glasses for a day” team.

That’s all it took. He went to his own class and proceeded to have a great day.

 

Where earlier my heart had been full of worry; in that moment, it was full of wonder and appreciation.

 

Goodbye old companion – All day anxiety caused by meltdowns.  Your visit was short and not sweet. This wasn’t even a bad storm.  A drizzle really.  But man, it’s in these moments that I am forced to remember and truly appreciate just how far we are now from the years when meltdown hurricanes were a nearly daily occurrence.

 

Thankful for … November 26, 2018

Last Friday, we went out – to a wonderful dinner and then to a nightclub (where a good friend of mine works) – to celebrate my sister in laws birthday. I am thankful for family who live within driving distance and friends who give you the VIP treatment at their place of employment.

 

On Saturday, we picked up a cousin from the airport. She was visiting from England. We dropped her bags off and headed out to a Drag Queen Christmas show. Risqué – Yes.  Irreverent – Yes.  So fun – Yes!!! I am thankful for relationships that stand the test of time and distance. It had been 12 years to be exact since she was here last and not a single beat was missed.

 

On Wednesday, my boss came by at noon and sent everyone home so we could get an early start on the holiday weekend. Yeah, you can bet I was thankful for that. I made a couple of stops, picked up a few things, and when I got home at 2, the house was empty – and stayed that way until about 5. I love my people but YAYYYYY for time alone!!!!!

 

Thursday was a delight. I don’t even know where to start. We all shared the work so it didn’t feel like work at all. Everyone over the age of 11 contributed to the holiday feast. Meaning that Ace (with a little help from England Cousin) made apple turnovers for dessert. The youngest (5 yrs old) led us in prayer before we ate. The middle child (Jay Boogie) helped to clear dirty dinner plates and serve cake. The adults who hadn’t cooked, – ok ok ME – did most of the cleaning up.  I think.  There was Christmas music and card games and tons of laughing and even jello shots. So much to be thankful for.

 

The gluttons for punishment in the family (aka, everyone but me) ventured out for Black Friday shopping on Thursday night after dinner. The kids were super excited to go – as kids tend to be about doing something new and “grown up” that you’ve heard a lot about and seen on TV. England Cousin was excited to go because as a Brit, she’d never been. Shaunie and Cousin Andrea were excited to go because they love to shop but more than that they love to get good deals.

***ahm – Did I tell you yet that Cousin Andrea came down from New Jersey? Well, she did.  And we love having her.

After they left, I was thankful for the couch and a blanket and Netflix and tea and 5 uninterrupted hours of a documentary on the Rajneeshi cult.

 

Friday was all about Washington DC. We ate and took pictures at famous sights and toured a museum and went ice-skating in the park. I was thankful for warm coats and family who are easy going and traffic free highways.

The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. We just hung out and chit chatted and had leftovers. Last night, when asked what their favourite parts of the weekend was, Ace said it was Black Friday shopping, helping to prepare Thanksgiving food and 1 other thing that I can’t remember right now. Jay said it was getting to play video games, eating cake and one other thing that I can’t remember right now.

For me, I was just so happy to have several days full of nothing but love and family and contentment.

 

I hope all of you who celebrate it, had a wonderful weekend in whatever way meant the most to you.

 

How A Space Heater Saved Our Lives October 23, 2018

Typically, a group of about 10 of us go camping together in the summer. Some years we have a couple extras. One year we had as many as 22. This year though, we couldn’t find a weekend that was suitable for everyone in our regular crew. Too many other things happening. Babies being born and weddings in other countries being attended and so on.

It seemed as though we’d miss out on our annual camping trip this year. And in some ways we did. But not in all the ways. Our rag tag army of 4 decided to brave the elements and take it on by ourselves.

Camping on a good day is a lot of work. It’s worth it. But it’s a lot of work.

Add to all the normal work that we chose to book a weekend in late-ish October AND hadn’t checked the weather report before heading out. Maybe it was a good thing that we hadn’t checked because had I known a storm was going to pass through I may have pulled the rip cord and spent the weekend on my couch.

 

We arrived at the site around 8pm on Friday; which is later than we normally try to get set up.  I mean, setting up in pitch blackness can be a little tricky.  None-the-less, we got the tent up, made a fire, hung out for a little bit and then went to bed without any problems.

Let me just say – Thank the heavens we had brought a space heater. It saved our lives when the temperatures dropped in the night. Even with the bit of warmth, no-one got a good nights sleep however. It rained pretty hard and the air mattress Shaunie and I were on, lost air steadily as the night progressed. By the time we “woke up” the next day, we were feeling hard ground beneath us.

Oh well. All part of the fun I told myself.

Saturday was a great day. The kids made a hot dog breakfast on the open fire and Shaunie made eggs on the one burner propane stove we had. We toured the site and found that it was quite nice. It sits on a river which I’m sure would be fun to swim in, in the summer time. They had a basketball court, a bouncy thing for the kids to jump on and a game arcade (which we didn’t actually use). Back at our site, we played board games and Jay threw rocks into the river. At one point he tried walking down a hill but he slipped and ended up going down the muddy slope on his butt. It was pretty funny and he took it like a boss.

In the afternoon there was a costume contest (since it’s so close to Halloween) and also there was trick or treating. The boys ended up with 2 bags full of candy. I snagged a snickers bar and some vampire teeth. We had no idea we were supposed to bring candy to give away but it was ok; All the regulars (who clearly knew the deal because they came PREPARED with legit decorations) made up for it and there was more than enough to go around.

When it got dark, we went for a walk on a haunted trail (also set up by the camp site) and it was really good. I think Ace was the most scared out of the 4 of us. But he made it all the way through and I was proud of him.

Saturday night was rough since a storm came through. Really heavy wind and rain lashed outside and our little tent was swaying a lot. It also got seriously cold. The space heater helped for sure, but it didn’t come close to making us warm. Poor Ace got so scared by the wind that I ended up moving to his air mattress and cuddling him all night.

We all woke up exhausted on Sunday and even though the sun was out, it did not help to warm us up at all.

We packed up and left the site at around 11:30.

 

All in all, I think it was good that we pushed through and did it. Shaunie may disagree with me.  But the kids enjoy it and I think it’s good for them to spend time “roughing it”.  Plus, I am all about having family traditions and this has become one of ours.

 

See ya again next year camping equipment. In the summer though.

 

What’s Been Up? October 17, 2018

What should I write about?

I could mention that one of Ace’s friends was giving him props and said “You my nigga” to which Ace promptly responded, “No.  I’m not.  I don’t like that word.” And how proud I was of him that he spoke up even though it was from a friend and not intended to be demeaning or insulting and even though it had the potential to turn what had been a pleasant moment into something more serious and uncomfortable.

I could tell you that Jay came home complaining about another student and during his rant, he said among other things, “… he’s retarded” and I was completely taken aback by that word choice.  I let Jay finish and then we had a discussion about the word “retard” and that it’s not the correct word to use because it’s insulting to people who have an actual medical issue or disability.  I suggested other words that he could use instead and was very pleased when he said, “Oh yes, that makes sense.  I won’t use that word anymore.  Well, he’s a total jerk and you should talk to his mom.”

 

 

Ooh, can we talk about how Jay had a project at school where he was supposed to make a plant cell model?  At least, that’s what he told me the project was.  I spent time on the weekend getting necessary supplies.  I took a minute to complain about having to do a project on Facebook.  We built (what I thought) was an awesome plant cell and Jay took it to school.  ONLY FOR IT TO BE WRONG.  Ugh!  I got a call from the teacher explaining that Jay had not accurately understood what the project was so we need to do it all over.  There is a part of me that fully appreciates how willing the teachers are to give us more time and how they tried to not make it into a big deal by saying “He just took the assignment too literally and you know, once he has an idea in his head, he gets stuck on that.  We won’t grade his project until Thursday so you can work on it.  It won’t take too long.  And we’ll talk with him today and give him some examples and maybe have him look at some of the other kids projects to make sure he understands before he comes home.”  There is also a part of me that’s like “NOOOOOO.  NO MORE PROJECTS!!!!!!  How bad would it really be if he got a zero this one timeAnd seriously, who gives 5th graders nothing but verbal instructions on a project?  Not everyone processes the same way.  It would have been lovely if, in addition, to the verbal instructions given in class, they also sent home written instructionsPlus, I feel badly for him because he really hates not understanding things because it makes him feel stupid; which he certainly is NOT, so having to do the entire thing again will not go over well.”  (Spoiler alert:  I won’t actually let him get a zero.)  But this will make 3 projects in 5 days.  2 of which needed to be done the night before they were due so that’s no fun for Mom.

 

Let’s end on a high note.

The 15 minute commute is going swimmingly.  Yesterday, I got home at 4:30, and was able to take the boys to Chuck E Cheese for Jays school spirit night.  They had a great time, which means I had a great time.  We got home and were all ready for bed by 8, after having done homework, cleaned the bathroom, taken out garbage, had a very fun pillow fight, done nightly reading, talked on the phone, ironed clothes and tidied rooms.

This morning, I set my alarm for 7am, showered/dressed, hung out with the older boy a little bit while I made tea and then we both walked out the door together.  I made it to work at 7:55.  Simply wonderful!!!

 

Sneak Peak October 14, 2018

I have news.  Well, you know how I used to talk about how much I enjoyed my job but I had a long, painful commute?  I’ve given that up and I will start at a new job this week.  It is bitter sweet in that you never know what kind of boss or coworkers you’ll get when you start a new job and I really did like my former ones BUT that drive was simply too much.  90 minutes in the morning and 2 hours to get home.  More than half of that being nothing other than me sitting in traffic.

I will now have a 15 minute commute and I am very much looking forward to the extra time at home.

 

Last Thursday was my final day of that awful drive.  Actually, it was only half awful because I left early and was home by 4pm.  I picked Jay up from school on my way home and since Ace takes the bus he was there waiting for us.  By 6pm, we’d had dinner and cleaned up, the homework had been done and checked, we’d showered, I’d taken out clothes for the boys to wear the next day and chores had been completed.

It was quite a shock to my system since 6pm is usually the time I’d be getting home.  I almost didn’t know what to do with myself then.  Bed time seemed so far away whereas it’s usually the next step once we’ve done our evening routine.

The boys, realizing they had lots of time left, took off running.  As I lay in bed watching TV (something I NEVER got to do at that time before), I heard them laughing and play fighting and chatting.  They were up the stairs and down the stairs.  They were in the kitchen and they were in their rooms.  They bounded into my room wearing their Halloween costumes and I chased them out.  They came back 🙂

We got to just hang out being goofy and silly and it was really nice.  At 7:15, when they had apparently exhausted their immaginations, they asked if they could get on their electronics.  (They don’t typically get to use them during the week).  I said they could for a little while.

 

It was such a lovely evening and while I don’t expect that every evening from now on will be like that, I do feel like it gave me a little sneak peak into what I’ve been missing out on and what it will be like soon.

 

The one downside to this arrangement is that it seems I’ll be the one responsible for preparing dinner since I’ll be the first adult to get home most of the time.  It was kinda nice coming home to a cooked meal every day.

Not THAT nice though.  I’ll take the extra chore of cooking dinner if it means more quality family time.

Wish me luck!