This August has been rough. And we’re barely half way through.
There have been a lot of things causing stress, not the least of which was the moving situation. The thing is, even as we started packing and bought school supplies, we didn’t know where we were going to live. Our current home owner decided to sell and that left us scrambling to find somewhere new. Should we rent again? We know the area now and have a good idea of what we like and where we would or would not want to be. So then, should we buy? But it felt rushed and we didn’t want to settle. It was difficult to find somewhere that was in our price range and that was in decent condition and that kept the boys in their current school zone. With each day passing that we didn’t have a new place, time was moving more quickly. I got more and more stressed out. I laid awake at night wondering if we’d be homeless and worrying that we’d have to move to a different town and uproot the boys all over again. I don’t handle lack of sleep well. I’ve always been a good sleeper and I’ve always needed 8 hours to feel my best. 9 are better.
We have now found a place, in our price range, and no changes need to be made regarding the boys schooling. Whew!
While that was all going on, Shaunie was preparing for a business trip. It was looking like a real possibility that she would leave before we secured a new place to live so I would be left to do it all alone. Adding to the fun was that there were internal issues with her travel plans which were causing her a lot of stress.
I am still left to do most of the packing by myself.
Then there were things like the Charlottesville protests. I have so much I want to say about it. I’m hurt and angry and disappointed and disgusted and scared. I’m disappointed in a handful of people for not checking in to see how or if we were affected by the protests since they know we live in Virginia. I’m hurt by the people who say they love me and my family but won’t say anything about the Nazi salutes or the violence that was perpetrated by those a-holes. They had a lot to say about the black lives matter riots and about Colin Kaepernick kneeling for the anthem and in defense of police though.
I’m angry that we are dealing with this crap at all. I live in a country where the President lashes out at people ALL THE TIME over trivial things but then when things like what happened in Charlottesville happen, he keeps his mouth shut until he can’t stand the pressure anymore so he makes a weak statement (days later) blaming “both sides” and to add insult to injury he then says: “When I make a statement, I like to be correct. I want the facts.” As if that’s been his M.O. so far. I just CANNOT with him or his supporters.
I’m disgusted with people who are not white, actually defending the white supremacists – claiming “freedom of speech needs to be awarded to everyone even if you disagree with them.” Here’s the thing though, freedom of speech does not extend to speech that incites violence or to actions that lead to the extermination of entire groups of people. That’s common sense to me, but it also legally defined and has already been decided by the supreme court. Nazi flags and salutes are considered hateful and inciteful. If you are endangering people with the things you say and the actions that you hope will come out of the things you say, that’s not covered by our beloved first amendment. And to the ones who say that people who support “black lives matter” but not “white lives matter” are hypocrites, come close and listen up:
#ONLYwhitelivesmatter is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from #blacklivesmatterTOO
The words “only” and “too” may not be in the hashtags but they are very clearly there in meaning.
I’m scared for my sons because they are cute, sweet little boys now, but every day that goes by, they are one day closer to being adult men. Black adult men. These same fools who went to protest waving their confederate flags and holding their hands up in Nazi salutes with torches burning are the people my sons will have to deal with. They are neighbours and teachers and police men and loan officers and landlords and bosses and jurors and the fathers of girlfriends. My boys don’t deserve that.
They certainly don’t deserve the silence of the very people who they will expect to have their backs and who they will turn to for support.
Thankfully, there were other moments in August as well. Moments filled with love and laughter. Moments of dancing and celebrating a newly wed couple. Moments of spending time with family who are visiting from The Cayman Islands.
Thanks to Facebook, I reconnected with someone who, 24 years ago, (and for nearly 10 years) was one of my closest friends. I am very happy about that.
In the next couple of weeks, I’ll get to do more hanging out with loved ones. I’ll spend a few days in a state I’ve never been to before which I always appreciate. I have to finish up my packing and then there’s middle school open house and the actual move. We will make the drive up to New Jersey for an engagement party and to pick up the kids. Then it’ll be September and back to school and hopefully, back to some semblance of peace and normalcy.