Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

Perfectly Imperfect Holidays January 2, 2019

So how was everyone’s Christmas?

I know it’s January now and people are talking about New Year resolutions and the like, but I have some catching up to do.


Our Christmas did not go the way we had planned. Does that mean it was good or bad? Continue reading to see.


On Saturday, December 22nd, we had tickets to see a play. It was to be a cute show; geared towards kids; about Santa and his elves. Everyone was up, fed, dressed and in the car on time. Then we hit traffic on I-95. Not just any old traffic. Major, not-moving, all the roads including side roads were jam packed traffic. The GPS initially said we’d be 10 mins late to the show. “OK”, we thought, “that’s not so bad”. Fifteen minutes later, it climbed to us being 20 minutes late and forty minutes later when we were not even half way there yet, the GPS said we would be 35 minutes late.

The show was not going to happen. Ugh!

We were disappointed about the wasted money but more so about missing out on the event that we thought would kick-start our feel good family Christmas weekend. The kids took it in stride. They said it was fine and that we shouldn’t worry about it and suggested we go to the movies. So we did. We even splurged on movie theatre snacks which you know is a treat because they are not cheap. We watched Bumblebee and everyone thought it was good. (The kids mostly). Yay!

Following the movie we made a stop at the cell phone store to see what options he had because the day before Ace had dropped his in the toilet. Ugh! FYI – It turns out that putting your phone in rice for a couple of days really does work!!! Yay!

The next stop was a Jamaican restaurant that we patronize when we’re in the area. I made a comment that was just meant to be funny but it led to us being gifted a bottle of sorrel – which really was very good. Yay!

All in all, even though it wasn’t the day we planned, it turned out pretty good.


On Sunday, we had plans to go horse-back riding. Once again, everyone was up, fed, dressed and in the car on time. As soon as we pulled out of the drive way, we got a call saying we needed to reschedule because the area was too wet/muddy due to all the recent rain. Ugh!

We spent the entire day being lazy. I mean, there was some light tidying up, but besides that we watched lots of TV, including a Christmas movie. We watched A Christmas Story – the one with the “leg lamp”.  I had never seen it before which apparently is blasphemous.  The kids were excited because it was Christmas Eve Eve which was cute. It’s such a great feeling seeing them be happy. The day may have been totally different than planned but it turned out pretty good.



To be honest, that’s kind of how the entire holiday week went. Things not going according to plan, but then being imperfectly perfect just the same.

Even our New Years Eve plan didn’t work out.  I had bought us tickets to an event which ended up being cancelled on Dec 28th.  My money was refunded and Shaunie and I spent the day/night reading and eating left overs and generally having the best time at home just relaxing.  At 10 pm on New Years Eve we both said how glad we were that our event had been cancelled.  I made it to 12:05 or something like that.


Ultimately, over the past week or so, we went to Church and spent time with many loved ones and yes, Santa was good to us.  We did make it to 2 shows.  The Harlem Globetrotters on Dec 26th and on Dec 30th we saw Hip Hop Nutcracker.  It was a really lovely way to end 2018.

All that’s left is to send everyone lots of well wishes for a happy and healthy 2019.

xoxo Deens.


Yay For New Me November 4, 2015

I had the whole day pictured in my mind.  It would be awesome.  My hopes were high for the fun family day we would have in New York City.  We’d go to a fun place to eat I thought.  Then we’d hop over to Central Park and let the kids run around and climb on the rocks.  They love that.  Maybe we would even get a ride on one of those double decker NYC sight-seeing buses.  The kids have been asking to go on one for a while.

I was psyched.  My camera was fully charged and I even picked out everyones outfits the night before since I wanted us to be cute and it was forecasted to be a little chilly.  They looked so nicely put together in their jeans and fleeces and puffy vests.  Their shoes even matched their outfits.

In the morning I asked the kids if they were ready to go and I got 2 very excited yeses.  Everything was working out great!  This was going to be a day fit for Family Times magazine.


Then real life happened.

Jay fell asleep in the car which I thought would be a good thing as he’d be well rested and therefore happier but No and No!

Things went downhill very quickly.  Jay was cranky and had no patience for the 5 minutes we had to wait for our table.  Ace was all over the place with his excitement.  He needed to check out everything and was talking non-stop.  Our server was pretty good and I liked the ambiance of the place and I enjoyed MY food but the food took FOREVER to come.  Jay didn’t want to eat any real food and made a stink over me ordering him pizza.  He wanted chocolate.  But not the chocolate that they had at the restaurant.  No, he wanted a Hershey bar.  Ace ordered things and to his credit he did taste it all, but then wanted what Jay had instead.  Our lunch companion, Shawny, was getting more and more annoyed with each passing minute that we had to wait and then when her burger did come, over an hour later and long after everyone else was already finished eating, it wasn’t even good.


By the time we left the restaurant everyone was just done but Shawny was still trying to salvage the day for my benefit.  She still thought we could at least pull off a trip to Central Park but I knew better than to push it. It would have only made the situation worse.

I was SO disappointed.  I did not get the day I had wanted.  I felt a sulkiness trying to slowly course through me.


The old me would have leaned into and held onto that feeling for a long time and spent a lot of energy harping on the things that I didn’t get.  Old me would have felt sorry for myself and would have been mad at all the things and people who I thought caused my day to be ruined.

New me handled it differently.  New me stayed calm.  New me deliberately tried to not make things any harder.  New me didn’t force it but instead called it a day and suggested that we simply go home.  New me accepted the day for what it was.  No bus ride, no Central Park, no Ripleys Believe It Or Not and no Madame Tussaud’s.


We got back into the car, and drove back through the Holland Tunnel.  When we were close to home, Jay asked if we could go to a local park.  I said ok.  It wasn’t Central Park but it was something.  Something that my son would enjoy.

It was windy and COLD there and I was quiet but really, I was OK.  The kids played and when we got home, they took hot showers and had dinner and got comfy in their PJ’s. The rest of the evening was pretty regular.


Letting go of the bitterness was a good move on my part.  I’m proud of new me.  There will be other chances to do things.  Some will go well.  Some will not.  It’s all part of this life we live.