Life On The B Side

Taking all that life throws at us one moment at a time

Work Life Balance November 1, 2018

Enjoy it. The kids grow up so fast.

You really should eat better and exercise.

Don’t stay in an abusive relationship.

Save money and maintain good credit.

 

All good advice. All things that people say to help others and all things that people already know to be true or right. BUT. Also all things that can be super hard to fully appreciate when you are in the thick of just getting through each day.

I get it. Oh, do I get it. I’ve been guilty of wishing away time and waiting for the kids to get older because in that moment, things were just so incredibly difficult. I’ve not eaten for weeks because I was stressed out and I am so bad at working out that it’s not even worth mentioning. I had never been to the doctor for a check-up until about 2 weeks ago when Shaunie made an appointment and forced my hand. I’ve never been in an abusive relationship but there were definitely some unhealthy situations that I allowed to linger for too long. And I took a long time to get my financial situation in order; (Well into my 30’s).

 

Making these positive changes gives you such a different life though that once you’ve done it, you get severely annoyed at yourself for not doing it sooner.

 

Don’t be a slave to your job. Take time off. Create a good work/life balance.

More advice that well-meaning people give and that we all know to be valid. Then we go back to our 2 hour commutes and our 12 hour work days and our 160 hours of built up vacation time.

 

I spent nearly 3 years in that life. Leaving home before 6 am and not getting home till after 6 pm. At home, things kept moving. The wheels kept spinning. I just missed A LOT of it. For 2 years, I told myself that I really needed to start looking for a new job and then I didn’t for one reason or another.

3 weeks ago I started a new job and it’s been indescribable.

 

I get to sleep in a little longer in the morning and I still get home when it’s light outside.

I sometimes make dinner for my family and clean up and can still find a minute to sit and watch some TV or read a chapter of my book before it gets dark.

 

I get to drop my boy off to school and hear him marvel at the colours of the sky when we step outside. This morning it was glorious shades of hot pink and bright blue.

For the entire month of October, there was a family who lives next to Jays school who used a skeleton family to depict various fun activities. They changed it every day. It was so fun. Jay and I loved pulling up to see what the skeleton family was up to each day.

 

Ace and I get a few minutes in the morning to chit chat before he heads out to the bus stop. It’s invaluable. Yesterday I spent some time talking with him and one of his friends as they waited for the bus.

The boys and I have gone on Burger King and Taco Bell dates in the afternoons and we were able to do a make-up tennis lesson on Monday evening.

The tutor can come earlier in the afternoon so that we can have more time before bed to either get things done or just hang out.

 

Simple things really. But oh my gosh they are the BEST things.

 

I know in the vast majority of cases, people need to learn lessons in their own time; not because someone told them to. We all make moves when we are truly ready to do them. As one of my best friends told me recently, “I know I complain about being fat, but if it was really a problem to me, I’d do something about it.” I do understand that. But if there is anything I can do or say to encourage you to take the step you’ve been wanting to take – but have been procrastinating on – please let me know. I’ll do or say it.

 

You won’t be sorry. I promise.

 

And now I need to seriously get into some sort of workout routine – And stick to it.

 

Sneak Peak October 14, 2018

I have news.  Well, you know how I used to talk about how much I enjoyed my job but I had a long, painful commute?  I’ve given that up and I will start at a new job this week.  It is bitter sweet in that you never know what kind of boss or coworkers you’ll get when you start a new job and I really did like my former ones BUT that drive was simply too much.  90 minutes in the morning and 2 hours to get home.  More than half of that being nothing other than me sitting in traffic.

I will now have a 15 minute commute and I am very much looking forward to the extra time at home.

 

Last Thursday was my final day of that awful drive.  Actually, it was only half awful because I left early and was home by 4pm.  I picked Jay up from school on my way home and since Ace takes the bus he was there waiting for us.  By 6pm, we’d had dinner and cleaned up, the homework had been done and checked, we’d showered, I’d taken out clothes for the boys to wear the next day and chores had been completed.

It was quite a shock to my system since 6pm is usually the time I’d be getting home.  I almost didn’t know what to do with myself then.  Bed time seemed so far away whereas it’s usually the next step once we’ve done our evening routine.

The boys, realizing they had lots of time left, took off running.  As I lay in bed watching TV (something I NEVER got to do at that time before), I heard them laughing and play fighting and chatting.  They were up the stairs and down the stairs.  They were in the kitchen and they were in their rooms.  They bounded into my room wearing their Halloween costumes and I chased them out.  They came back 🙂

We got to just hang out being goofy and silly and it was really nice.  At 7:15, when they had apparently exhausted their immaginations, they asked if they could get on their electronics.  (They don’t typically get to use them during the week).  I said they could for a little while.

 

It was such a lovely evening and while I don’t expect that every evening from now on will be like that, I do feel like it gave me a little sneak peak into what I’ve been missing out on and what it will be like soon.

 

The one downside to this arrangement is that it seems I’ll be the one responsible for preparing dinner since I’ll be the first adult to get home most of the time.  It was kinda nice coming home to a cooked meal every day.

Not THAT nice though.  I’ll take the extra chore of cooking dinner if it means more quality family time.

Wish me luck!