He said what he wanted. I heard what he said. But I hadn’t looked deeper. I have found that there is usually a deeper. Sometimes I need to ask more questions. Sometimes I need to give him more processing time. Sometimes I just need to put things aside instead of getting annoyed and being so greedy.
As I’m washing dishes Jay comes and asks me for some “juice in a cup” and a “patty“. (A Jamaican ground-beef filled pastry). I give him the juice, which he downs, and then I ask him 3 times if he’s SURE he wants the patty. I know that he spent most of the evening with a big bag of cheese doodles. Each time he confirms. I take the last patty we have out of the freezer and put it in the toaster oven to cook.
Half an hour later I give Jay the patty and he says “No. I not want it.”
I say to him “But I asked you and you said yes.”
He ignores me and walks away.
I stand there feeling annoyed.
I figure I will leave it on the counter and maybe he’ll come back for it later.
That doesn’t happen and the kids brush their teeth and go to bed and the patty is still sitting on the counter.
I’d had a BIG lunch and I’d eaten dinner so I wasn’t hungry but I didn’t want to throw away the patty and warming and then letting them cool and then warming again isn’t usually good for them. They get dry. I just ate the damn thing. Then got more annoyed at myself for eating something I didn’t really want.
Fast forward to Wednesday morning when we’re getting ready for work and school. It’s Ace’s job to put the kids lunch boxes in their respective bags. Jay stops him and takes his lunch box and opens it. In it he sees the sandwich I had made along with his juice and snacks. He shows it to me and says “But I asked for a patty. That’s what I said.”
The night before when he asked for the patty it wasn’t for THAT moment. He was asking me to put it in his lunch box for the NEXT day. He didn’t make that part clear and I certainly didn’t think to ask.
At least now I know that I need to get less annoyed and ask clarifying questions and definitely not be so greedy. I bet Jay would have been happier with a slightly dry beef patty than the sandwich … especially since he took the time to actually tell me what he wanted and I actually had it available.
I stopped at the patty store on my way home today so I can right my wrong for tomorrow.